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  Mar 2015 Alycia Reed
Bri
"Don't let madness corrupt you." A wise man once said, but it is impossible not to be corrupted when you're as dark as insanity itself.
  Mar 2015 Alycia Reed
AJ
I am still shocked how you can
Eat a giant spoonful of raw minced garlic.
Not only is it disgusting,
But doesn't it hurt your throat?
But I guess I do chug ***** straight from the bottle.

I asked you if it burned your throat,
And you asked me if it burned mine.
You said no,
That's why you do it.
I said yes,
That's why I do it.
"Wide-eyed, both in silence
Wide-eyed, like we're in a crime scene."
-Daughter
I've been contemplating suicide,
as of late.
Not your standard,
bullet to the brain,
ending ones physical existence,
type of suicide.
No,
I'm considering something... more direful.
I'm going to commit a writers' suicide.
I'll start by deleting my various internet caches,
like the bat of an eye they'll all disappear.
Blink, blink, blink!
For extra measure,
I'll stick an Ice pick through this computer,
then sink it,
in the lake.
I'll follow that up,
by dissolving my pens in a vat of acid.
To the wood chipper!
Go the pencils.
I'll have a bonfire,
burn all the physical text I have,
and every single scrap of blank paper,
within reach.
To finish it off,
I'll break my thumbs,
pull out my own tongue.
Is a writer really alive,
without his word?
Alycia Reed Mar 2015
"I know it is weak of me to give up, I didn't want to; but its like drowning.

Nobody wishes to die, alone in a cold dark room. But there is only so long they can keep their head above the waves until they realize that no one is coming to save them, and they are never going to find their way back to shore. Sooner or later, the body gives up, it can't endure anymore. Maybe it could fight to suffer one or two moons, but for what point? The ending is the same. Its not that death suddenly becomes an attractive thought, Its just the notion of living is so much uglier.

I used to feel like i was drowning, ........... so i stopped trying to swim."
Alycia Reed Mar 2015
And then I found out how hard it is to really change.
Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in.
I just wanted the lonely inside me to leave.
No matter how ****** you get,  
there's always hell when you come back down.
The funny thing is, all I ever wanted I already had.
There's glimpses of heaven in every day.
In the friends I have, the music I make, the love that I feel.
I just had to start again.
Alycia Reed Mar 2015
The monster in me is never satisfied, it constantly is tearing me apart and there is nothing I can do;  except of course keep ingesting the sickness that has already spread throughout my soul. I will forever need a substance to stay alive. Sobriety leads to these deafening screams in the pit of my stomach, this vice silences the screams, at least for a little while.
Children believe there are monsters under their beds, but growing older- we begin to realize they were inside of us all along.
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