I must not be afraid,
Afraid of being hurt
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.
I must try and allow myself to jump
And if I land, then I land
And if I fall, then I fall
But I must not be afraid
Afraid of trying
Because if I do not try
How else will I know if it is what I want
Or if it is not?

She wants to love intimately
To feel a mess of hands
Run up and down her back, thighs
And through her hair.
She wants to feel hands rise up
Her shirt and cup her *******
To feel at home in the arms of
Someone new

And yet she lays so very still
Alone in the early hours
With a red face and dry eyes
There is no one by her side
And her thoughts overrun her

She wants to love intimately
And yet she no longer knows
What to feel
No experience, no expectations
Just a mess of hair
And bedsheets
As she lays alone in the dark

(2/21/17 || 12:24 AM)

I have spent too long
Under too-hot water
Frying myself
And trying nothing
But to scrub you
Out from under my
Skin, red and raw

(9/25/17 || 10:00)