Philosophy club
I wish I could speak
Whenever I try to say something
It comes out as a small squeak

Philosophy club
When he looks at me I feel frightened
I really hope no one
Expects me to say something enlightened

Philosophy club
I'm really passionate on paper
But debating in real life
And my confidence starts to taper

Philosophy club
I'm obviously no Socrates
I could probably share my thoughts
If it weren't for my social anxiety

Roommate Wanted;
Dorm includes:

Kitchen,
      With complete set of
      appliances and a table
      meant for two.

Living Room,
       with a coffee table , tv
       and the sofa we used to
       watch movies and cry on.

A Bathroom,
      with hot water and
      lonely showers.

A bedroom,
      with a half empty
      king sized bed

And closet space
     which used to house the shoes
     you walked away from me in.


For inquiries please call this number:

There’s a part of me you can’t abide,

but don’t mind me, I’m dead inside.

I’m cold, confused and alone,

left to wallow on my own.

You can keep on cutting

But I won’t feel a thing.

Let your knife sink in,

twist it round and go within.

Stab my heart,

I’ll fall apart.

Kick me to the ground,

there’s nowhere left to run around.

I can’t change myself for you,

there’s nothing left to do,

crush my life away,

It’s just another day.

****
I can't believe
You've lived eighteen long years
I don't want to believe
You're of legal age
Because just yesterday
You arrived for school 2 hours late for
You slept at 4 am because of anime
Your blue boxers would show even if you wore a belt
You bought 100 Pesos worth of Spanish bread during recess
You dared to punctuate your English report with wrong grammar
You dunked iced tea bottles to the trash can, imitating Jordan
You ran and screamed in the hallways with the 3rd graders
You hanged your sweaty shirt to dry at the lockers
You spammed our physics teacher's laptop with selfies
You bit my shoulder, literally
You drew kitties and robots in your math test
You attempted to sing to dubstep
You took a nap at the carpeted library floor and
You almost ran over me with your car
So even if you're now an adult officially
You're still this messed up kid to me
Happy birthday though
You're finally 18
My wish for you is that you would be careful
'Cause you're old enough to hit the slammers
*I guess age is really just a number

Sadly enough
I am just not sad at all
Buy not happy either
Just indifferent it seems
To this world around me
And I’m tired of thinking
About all of theses thoughts
I am screaming for help
But my voice is trailing off
My mind keeps wondering
And my judgment keeps faltering
While I’m just stuck here
Figuring out my emotions

I'm tired of running.
I'm sick of trying.
I want to stop crying.
I don't know why I keep lying.
I can't keep living.
I know I am dying.
My time is ticking.
My God I'm denying.

I fell in love with you all over again in a hospital waiting room

I fell in love with the deep purple under your eyes
like delicate bruising

I fell in love with the paleness of your lips
from lack of nutrients

I fell in love with the way you moved slowly
and achingly wrapped in a white blanket the color of your skin

I fell in love with the deep crimson of your blood
as it ran through your IV

I fell in love with you again as I laid with you in the hospital bed at 3 am

we’d been there for 10 hours
and you had a little too much morphine in your system
and a lack of sleep
when you pulled me close and said

“I could really see myself marrying you some day”

and that was right before you kissed me with your dye stained lips
so they could see your insides better on the x-ray

I fell in love with you again when you looked at me with your
big hazel eyes that turn black around the edges

You said god had sent me from heaven
An angel to watch over you

I'm not too sure about that but what I do know is:

I Do