We were laying there naked and intertwined
I remember your arms  wrapped around me
Holding me close.
I had been blessed
With a false sense of security
For just only a moment in time
I come in closer
As you kiss the top of my head
I playfully tease you
And you tenderly hold my face
And in a split second
The stinging red appears
And I called it love

I don't know what to write, truthfully. Maybe it's because i don't know how or what to feel, i don't know how to describe this hurt, this ache. I don't know how to express myself, how to scream it out that i need you. That you're my help.
Do i drink? drink until i fall in the toilet, exhausted from throwing up but still aching another taste of alcohol to replace the taste of you.
Do i smoke? smoke until i my eyes are blood red to make everyone believe that it is the high but in reality it's the tears that i refuse to release.
Do i lay in his bed? half naked, *****, and trying to take your touch away, replace it with his, hoping i wouldn't feel you anymore.
What do i do? please tell me. You act as if you have all the answers so tell me, how do i find myself after you? how do i erase the mistakes i've made?