happy anniversary
you let me **** your flaccid ****
then let me go
naked
wet
exposed
nothing but your ***** sheets
to shield me from your sting
"i dont feel the same way"
you said
every
word
a
nail
in
my
coffin.

Clean
like the water
that runs through my hair
and down my back
as I wash the last of you
off my skin.

I'm tired of wasting my poetry on you
I can't remember how to write happy.
You ravage my mind. constantly.
Quietly lurking until you attack me
from the inside out
so I sit in the shower, naked
and try to wash the last of you off my skin
as if I can wash your memory away.
No, your ghost digs in,
burrowing deep in my soul
settling in for a long winter
and what am I to do
but bask in the glow of your memory
clinging to the strands of goodness
and let my self be wasted in our past
because it is so much better than a future alone.

You've found a way
to move in and out of my consciousness.
I felt you today
with the drop of a name
and yesterday
with your favorite song.

Evolution is slow;
It takes time
to erase you from my routine
to shun you from my thoughts.

Slowly I find you less and less
as your image blurs in my mind.
I feel you melt off my skin
like an old layer shed
to bare something better than before:
a me without you.

I dial your number and pause
In the moment before the moment.

Hello?

In an instant, you are not just a memory, a regret, a thousand miles a way
You are with me in the car, parked in a lot.
The spotlight hits me and I turn on.

Hello!
(as if I’m surprised to hear voice)
How are you?
(like I really care)
Guess what!
(as if my brief reappearance in your life is the best news you’ve ever heard)

Rain spits on my windshield as I laugh with you
A suave performance to meant to pass as reality.
I savor the sound of your voice
Caught off guard
And cringe at the pauses
The stiff formalities and cold distance.

I dance in circles on the phone
An artificial, plastic caricature
Synthetic nonchalance tightly orchestrated
Still contorting myself to impress you.

There was a girl
quite beautiful
who drowned herself
drinking they say
without blinking
like an infant suffocating
while sleeping without care
out where a lifebuoy
floats like a soggy rose
marking the spot
they last heard her
singing while sinking.

Synical eyes will always view
Colours in dull hues
View the world with a childs eyes
See the all colours come alive

Breathe and appreciate
Don't hold onto hate
Smile and know your worth
We only got one chance on this earth

Out of the ashes
Of broken promises
Where the pieces of hearts
Lay glittering like glass
Where dispair
Hides in its lair
To engulf your spirit
Don't let it

Out of the blackness
From utter darkness
You will let that inner light
Shine bright
It is the fire within
Pure without sin
That will make you strong
My dear, you will carry on

You are f*cking fabulous!

I am not spring
frost thaws eternally
from shallow-rooted fronds
tenuous and unbound
susceptible to wind's constant round
battering the living flat to ground
sodden, smell of decay all around
time is fleeing
these shoulder seasons
with all their restless reasons
yet to unfold in you
sun-soaked glade
I need your rays
to germinate