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Alex Mar 2015
I didn't know how to tell him he hasn't been my everything
in a very long time.
That I had found a man
who I can actually call mine.
My own--
The way he's had his own woman on the side.
The truth is, both our places have been replaced on the throne.
He was no longer my king.
I was no longer his anything.
I haven't been his for awhile.
And he hasn't noticed I've been gone.
Nothing could bring me back, not even that dazzling smile.
And he hasn't noticed everything's wrong.
He no longer phones me yearly for an invitation inside the newly aged me.
We have disconnected; no longer "we"
He's let me go; let me go to be.
Has he not realized he has lost me?
To another man whose arms let me in since I've lost my home.
The best I've discovered since being alone.

I still don't know if I should tell him I won't be returning any longer.
Sorry to tell him that another man has made me stronger.
I know he'd understand and he'd be so proud.
I'd like to thank him for what I have found.
He's taught me a valuable lesson in who to become.
I haven't written to him in months,
thinking about him has become numb.
I hope this is the final letter
To wish me to get better.

I'll tell him, my new man, all about the one I carry deep within;
how he was
my soul
my home
my truth
How I could have loved him; I never loved him.
He'll never be the man who's kept me up for so long.
But it's time to move on,
for he's now to whom I belong.

*So, darling, i'll bury you deep.
All mine to keep.
I'll keep you safe.
No one else can take your place.
Light of my life.
Forever I'll stay true.
Don't worry about me.
I'll never forget you.
I've been gone for awhile now; haven't written lately.
The man who I always wrote about, my inspiration, has been replaced.
I've fallen for someone new, someone who's affected me greatly.
So hopefully this is the last serious letter
of the man who I've been writing about for six years
and the beginning of maybe something better.
I'll probably jot down a thing or two, here and there, every now and then
But it's important to note, things are taking a turn
and not everything is about him.
Alex Jan 2015
I don't know why I did it/ There are people angry at me for things I didn't do/ But when I stop giving a ****, they ask me why don't I care/ When I try again, I'm told that i'm not trying/ I know what it's like to ruin yourself just to be noticed/ I know what it's like to dig yourself deep just to convince everyone you're not doing so well/ I know what it's like to find comfort in that hell hole because you know you won't be able to find that same comfort in an alternate situation/ You might think I found my answer, but i'm really still questioning myself and my next move/ I don't know why...
Alex Dec 2014
Tell me i'm worth keeping around.
Tell me i'm worth every step.
Tell me i'm not mediocre.
Tell me i'm not someone you regret.
Tell me you're not tired of me.
Tell me you'd still care about me
even if I slip away.
Tell me if you even want me to stay.
Alex Dec 2014
I wanna do more with you.
And I wanna be more with you.
I wanna feel more with you.
And I wanna see more with you.
I want more of you. I want you, you, you...
Alex Dec 2014
It's almost two years since and
everything still hangs in my mind
like laundry on a clothesline.
All this time, I've been trying to wash away the dirt
that you've left behind.
But stains like blood aren't very easy to hide.
I wish I could still say I know you--
I wish I could know you again.
But you no longer fit me anymore;
our history has shrunk.
Besides, it wasn't much to begin.
I'm ready to fold you and put you away.
There is no reason to keep you
or for you to stay.
I kept your sweater for I would feel like you were with me.
Well I set it on fire, hoping I would be free.
Turns out, I just couldn't wear you any longer.
Nor could I have let you continue to linger
on the clothesline I've laundered.
Alex Nov 2014
It was always that simple.

I couldn’t be so simple.

Simple enough, I miss you

in an, oh so, complicated way though.

Stay this time.

I’ll go wherever you go.
Alex Nov 2014
I know you're tired of me
And it must be because you're constantly
running through my mind.
I'm sorry I can't catch up.
I'm not falling apart,
I'm falling behind.
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