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Your heavy heart is mine to bear,
Constantly shedding blissful tear.
A binding mystery, return the favor.
Feed my soul taste which I savor.

But in a single silent kiss,
I shrink, I shiver, do not miss.
Allowance of doubt comes in swift force.
A stab of pain and convulsive remorse.
 Aug 2014 Alberto Ruiz
holyoak
you're the kind of girl
that they write books about
i always thought you were fiction
but i can't even remember
the last time i finished a good book
i always drop it at the ******
maybe it's because
we never reached ours
speaking of not being able to finish things

[holyoak]
If I could fly I would sail to the stars.
And come back with a way that I could win back your heart.
Cause every dream I have comes back to you.
But deep down inside I know they'll never be true.
Hopeless romantic?
Or romantically hopeless.
Which one?
I wish I knew.
But if I'm honest I never even deserved you.
The words fall out slowly at first.
And you're scared and worried of the absolute worst.
But then you grow stronger than ever
Every word leaves you feeling more and more clever.
That's poetry for you. And once it starts to flow.
You'll be changing lives and they'll let you know
 Aug 2014 Alberto Ruiz
holyoak
lately i've been day dreaming at night
and every time
you're grasping
at the smoke in my lungs
trying to make sense of the poetry
that you think is about yourself
the steam was coming off 
of the asphalt 
and i thought about 
how i was so breathless
when you told me
i float just out of your grasp
but at least you can see me
i've been blind since the day we met
and as it turns out
that was more curse than blessing
i could see nothing
except for the words you used
to keep me focused on you
you were always the selfish one
but what I gave
you couldn't take
it's not enough to just look away
because now I don't see anything
but that's better than seeing you 
you
in all your 
underwhelming 
overbearing
need to be seen by everyone
i wonder
do you think fire is scared 
of fizzling out and dying 
or does it just take pride 
in giving warmth 
and roaring while it can

[holyoak]
I'm not sure where I'm going.
And I've forgotten where I've been.
It's like just one oar is rowing.
And I'm turning in circles again.
The past and the future are all blended up.
And I can't remember tomorrow from yesterday or seem to keep them apart.
 Aug 2014 Alberto Ruiz
nat
It happened so quickly
But I don't know quite when
You started fading from my view
I told myself I loved you
But I knew through it all
That it wasn't quite the truth
I didn't push you away
I didn't feel you pushing me
But what happens when two boats, untouched
Are set alone out to sea?
The waves around them
Push and pull
And they grow apart
No harm was done there
But it happened anyway
And no one could be said
To be at fault

{NR}
 Aug 2014 Alberto Ruiz
holyoak
I didn't think much
of the way flowers wilted
until I watched you fade slowly out of my life
It was like watching the hands on a clock
Except these hands were knives
And soon enough
Our time had come
And you were cut from my life
I think I understand the sky now
And how it longs to touch the earth
But it can't
Because it would destroy
What it loves the most
Lately my mind has wandered
I'm not so sure of where it goes
But it always comes back
With bits of you
To pour into my thoughts again
I watched a train race by at midnight
My thoughts grabbed at you again
I don't think I've ever held you as tightly
As when I'm only remembering you

[holyoak]
 Aug 2014 Alberto Ruiz
R Saba
spent years wandering halls
cutting the "i" from my sentences
forming words from vowels
and emotions from consonants
hard and solid, but nothing
without that internal structure

guess that describes me pretty well
all consonants, harsh "t" and definite "d"
and the ever-slippery "y", like me
never making up its mind

felt like a half-learned language
still do, really
like someone forgot to learn the proper nouns
forgot to turn the sentence around
grab the sound and speak it

there's an accent colouring my life
awkward and stuttering, unsure
and never fluent enough
to step in time with the music
for long enough to make it matter

words from vowels
and emotions from consonants
hard and solid, but nothing
without that internal structure
oh the English language
Who am I?
I ask myself as I lay down to sleep.
And beg the thoughts to go away,
And ask my soul to keep.
I'm searching for my path in life.
The stamp to call my own.
And as my eyes drift slowly closed.
I feel more and more alone.
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