I loved you like a brother for so much longer than you ever deserved
Somehow those fourteen years have slipped away from me
And I think that if we're being honest you don't know a thing about me
Let me tell you that there is good reason for this
I hope that someday it hits you out of nowhere like a broken bungie cord
We gave you a home when home was the last place you wanted to be
But I can't escape the fact that all you can do is mock my very existence
Almost like you feel you could take my place so easily if I was gone
Removed somehow from a picture I was painted into years before you
We all know that no monster can wear a mask forever
I've always known this day would come but I thought we had passed all this
Maybe I should've known the day would come a second time
But somehow I always find you on my doorstep without a key
I fear that I will never be rid of you because even when you're gone you find a way
You don't even hear the words that come out of your mouth
It used to be empty apologies every other day
But now its just an offense without an amend I honestly thought you were smarter than this
You make me sick and I'd trade you for the plague just to feel peace
I've never heard someone talk so much with nothing to say and no ears to listen
You once told me that the only reason you would never leave her
Is because you know you would never find someone else who could love you
What a waste of a beautiful girl who will never know any better
Than to sell her heart in fifth grade and never learn how to take it back
People like you are everything that's wrong with the world
I had hoped I would learn something from this at the very least
But maybe all I can take away from this is that some people can't be changed
I never wanted to think like this but this is the change you've made in me
At night I tear you apart in my dreams and I'm so sorry but I wake up with a smile
*~W.C.

She was the only girl I was able to be myself around. She listened to my stories, laughed at my jokes, cuddled with me when I was sad and made me smile when I couldn’t. I was completely in love with her. We spoke of marriage, children and growing old together. It was the perfect picture. I honestly thought I had found the one for me; my perfect match. I thought we were forever.
I was wrong.

In the blink of an eye, she was gone. She left me for another, better man. As every person would be, I was devastated. I tried everything to get the love of my life back, in vain. Nothing I said or did was going to change the fact that her feelings have shifted to another.

Before I could even understand the whole situation, the pain of my loss hit me. My feelings were everywhere. It started with tears in the shower, sleepless nights, alcohol and my chest caving in every time I heard her name. I’ve woken up to tear-soaked pillows, caused by nightmares so many times. I’ve pushed away friends and family, because I was so afraid to love anyone any more.

Then suddenly, it all stopped. No tears, anger or pain and no happiness. I became a mirror: blank when nobody was around and showing everyone smiles, laughter and joy; just what they wanted to see. Only I knew that none of it was real.

And in my slumber,
I crave
the taste
of your delicious lips,
traces of me
on your strawberry tips
& your sweet nectar,
oh, the
thought of
licking
your sweet nectar
arouses me &
keeps me up,
all night.

Types of girls : *poetry-inked skin, hollow and fragile,dark circles, lack of eye contact, smeared mascara, not enough and too much

i have racked my mind
trying to figure this whole thing out
the staying, the going
the threads we claim hold us here
& the people who've stopped to play a tune on them
i sometimes relate it
to waking up in waist deep snow
in our former selves
the us we wish we could give one another
the children we've sat on the shelves
trapped, like the looks
we leave behind in snow globes
i sometimes imagine ships
dragging the bottom to the sea of "me"
for sleep & pieces of my old self
to sell to the new one
like history doesn't repeat itself
it gets me wondering
if you too want an apology from the rain
or if you dream of burning family photo albums
and wearing the ashes like perfume
if you're anything like me
how i hope god chokes
on memories of me blowing out candles as a child
i know i shouldn't reference my reader  
but don't you know, the only difference
between alone & lonely is you?
that if my hands could talk
the only thing they'd be able to say
is "dear god we've missed you"
and how can you tell me it isn't love
when even the rain refuses to fall
in places where i've kissed you
i remember the day
you found my smile at a yard sale
it reminds me of how you'll leave
i wonder if when you go
you'll tell yourself
the person in the rear view mirror
is closer than they appear

Do you remember our first date?
You wore a black T-shirt, running a bit late.
You had a head full of hair and glasses,
I swear you were my first real crush.
It was a little too much.
I had you ask my Dad if I could go,
'Cause I was too nervous he would say no.
We wanted to watch Saw II but got rejected.
We were too young, and the theatre by default selected
That we'd watch "Chicken Little" the only other movie they showed,
At our town's little theatre, we passed by the Skittles,
And watched the show in quiet excitement.
Then we waited for our rides, and feeling resentment,
Listened to the end credits of the movie we'd rather have seen,
If only we were eighteen.
It was a song we liked called "Burn the Witch,"
We sang along and smiled, feeling enriched by each other's presence,
We knew this was Heaven.
We didn't kiss or cuddle,
We may have hugged, and that would have settled.
It was a teenage bliss,
Excitement, nerves, wants that would someday be satiated,
But even now that I have with you all of this,
Marriage, and ***, and a morning kiss,
I look back on our first date when we were kids,
And know everything we ever did
Was a result of that fearful question,
"Do you want to go on a date?"
And yes, I did.
I would all over again.

You have to be careful of what you touch
Everything you ever lay your hands on
Will forever remember the way you held it
Until it fades away into the dust that it came from
The pen will remember how you held it between your fingers
How much pressure you put on it when you wrote her a love letter
Her doorbell will always remember the way your hand shook
The day you took her out for the first time
The passenger side door handle will remember
How your hand was slick with sweat when you tried to open it for her
The fork and knife you used to cut your steak that night
Will remember how you fumbled with them because you were so nervous
The steering wheel will remember how tightly you held it
As you drove her back to her house after dinner
They will always remember every detail of your touch
So think twice before you reach out to her and take her hand
Because when you touch her your fingerprints aren’t only left on the surface
They will sink below the surface of her skin and seep into her blood stream
They will course through her entire body
And just like the pen she will never forget the way you touched her
*~W.C.