is it pain?
when you have the desire to touch someone you love
and to feel the electricity goes around your body
burning like golden flames inside your veins
but you know you just can't do it?

is it pain?
when you admire their pretty starry eyes
that shines so bright like a sunlight peeks around it
and you always pray they will turn around to find your eyes
and to catch your locked gaze,
but you know they will not do it?

is it pain?
when a one look of their eyes
suddenly reminds you with your old favorite songs
and a beautiful movie scene
and a love poetry or maybe old love letters
but you know they do not feel the same?

*and the pain goes through my fingertips
until the deep heartstrings of mine
until the white fragile bones of mine
and my eyes are numb
and all I know
is
just
pain.

The eyes of golden veins
The hair of chocolate
The lips of red cherries
The smell of a spring day

His misty eyes were so deep;
As strong as the king of jungle's
His hands were spinning around,
playing around with my heart
and drowning himself into my fragile soul

The smile of the sun
He never told me the truth
The boy of the ocean
He surf all around my broken veins
And his lips were locked so tight
Left me alone
with untold feelings
and hidden stories.

03/17/2014

Dear you,
Some days I was lying awake in a middle of night, counting the stars on the hazy sky and hope you're doing the same. I looked at the full moon, wishing you were here with me but I had a little thought that you might be looking at the same moon so it was enough for me. I was thinking about your beautiful smile, your charming eyes, your raspy voice, and I wondered how it feels to having your fingers intertwined with mine. I read so many books and knew some plenty of beautiful words but none of them could fit my feelings for you. You are the most beautiful human I've ever known, inside and outside. Wrote this letter for you just wasting my time because you would never read it but Hell, I can't think of other ways to express this incredible feeling for you, my dear. When I saw you from the very first time I straightly fell in love with your smile and the curious part of myself started getting bigger and higher. Soon, I knew your name and I remembered how happy I was to figure it out. I was having a strange feeling for you at first, and I really don't know what it's called until I learn the word "love". And by saying this, I mean the strong meaning for love because it's a strong word and people often underestimate it for their lust feelings or the romantic situations.

Dear you,
I love you for the way you are. For the way you laugh at your stupid jokes, for the way you fall asleep on the couch or even in your own suitcase (you are so precious); for the way you smile at the nice things, for your kindness to people who need help, for your humbleness, for your eyes that lighten up and darken up in a minutes, for your silly dance move and for the way you are.

I really hope it doesn't turn out to be an ordinary love letter but well, as I said, I don't have any words to truly express my love for you. Thanks for being exist and I owe my life to you because without you, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be like this. You make me worth living and you make me feel so priceless and I can't thank you enough for that.

Like the melodies of rainfall,
you give me a serenity
Like the smell of spring green grass,
you fill my heart with smiles
Like a brush of pastel colors in canvas,
you give me a mildness around my wall
Like a rhythm of the blue waves,
you complete me with a tranquility

And in the winter days
you make me feel so warm
like a bonfire in a dark wood
lighten up and warming up at the same time
And you make my heart blooms
Like daisies in a white meadow
they are humming a melody
as you greet them with a bright smile

And I know you do not realize it
but when I see you, you remind me with the sun
But no,
you're not a sun who makes my eyes go blind,
you're a moonlight who lights me up
even in the darkest time
But the moon has so many flaws,
and I don't see one in your soul
so I think you're not a moonlight

Then I think again and again,
And I find it.
You may not be my sun,
or my fire,
or even my moonlight,
*But you are my world, and will always be my world.

I know you don't see me the way I see you
I know you don't love me the way I love you
I know you don't waste hours by hours crying over me
I know your smile and your laughter are not for me

And I know all of these scenarios that I have made
in between my dreams and my sleeps
are not true
And I know my dream is just a dream
and soon, it will be fading away

But I will still admire the way you chase the sun
I will still admire the smile you wear when you see the stars
I will still admire your aura that reminds me
with the bright sunflowers in summer days
I will still admire the way sunlight peeks around your eyes
and the way sunrays play with your brown hair

I will still admire the way you are;
a beautiful person who changes my world,
and also my perspective in life
And even if you don't feel the same about me,
It is okay.