God* knows I'm a (ship)wreck.

But nonbelievers do not sink.

I used to think that nothing was worse than being unwanted by you
rejection was the black hole that devoured my every carefully-chosen word, my every thought-out action
even my smiles were planned, I programmed the muscles of my face to produce a silent film- for your viewing pleasure
the only Oscar that my performance desired was your attention
but then I got it.
and then you took it away.
and now I realize that you do not hang the stars, I do.
I am in control of a constellation of emotions, bursting like a supernova behind my eyes
everything is changing and I am changing but I am here and you are not and if you come back it's too late because I'm already lost in space

Today I am two days of unwashed hair
I am the comfort of the couch without pillows
I am the floorboards holding sunlight
I am fuzzy teeth and white lies
I am the carpet that needs vacuuming
I am my mother in the garden,
And my father working downstairs,
I am the sunburn on my chest,
Like the heart on my sleeve,
Born from foolishness instead of courage