That's my job, it's what I do
assign a number to your pain
to get a bill paid
like that's all it is, a number
But I'm happy to use that code
instead of another
that you made it somehow
to tell the doctors
you regretted it the moment you did it
and they all say that
this isn't the right job for me, I take a bit too long
because when I read things like your story
I have to stop, take a sip of my coffee
close my eyes
and think of where you are, which room, which bed
and send you thoughts and energy and anything I can muster
I don't believe in things like that
generally
but it's the only thing I can do
I'll always remember the sister
asking if he'll play guitar again
not understanding what brain dead is
I read too many poems about suicide, I'm pulling for you all.. I get how ****** up this life can be, how unfair and stupid and pointless. But as your words show, it can also be brilliant and beautiful.
(and ignore my taking a bit of poetic license with the ICD10 because of course that code is used either way really, it's just if the patient doesn't make it usually the cause of death is the primary diagnosis..)