silly blue bird
don’t you know
warmth and laughter
have no end

you cannot divide it
like chocolate
to be carefully parceled out
and unlike chocolate
when you run out

you simply make more

A tragedy of the world and passage of time
of things that disappear from memory,
a pain i can not fathom.

The ones that die raging in the night,
that are unspoken for
or unheard.

The language of a people,
no longer spoken.

The traditions of a nation,
no longer practiced.

The culture of a family,
erased by time.

Things that have been eradicated
beyond life
and can never be reborn.
Things once so precious
that are almost entirely gone from the world.

How do you reconcile the genocide of a culture?

i walk around and i feel like a caricature of myself
playing at someone i’m supposed to be

ask a stranger on the street “who do you see me as”
and i’ll perform magnificently

you ask how i am
and the first thought through my head is how should i feel in this moment

not how do i feel
how should i feel

this is the lens through which my life is screened
acting as the world wants me to be
trying to make everyone happy
and somehow never for myself

Ticking, ticking, endless clicking
Time goes on, nothing sticking
Clunking, thunking, the wheel keeps spinning
Motion forward, circles beginning

Step step drip drip
Flowing falling catching calling
Leaving seeing, end of meaning

the silence at night,
when the house is quiet
and i have not spoken in hours,
overwhelms my mind

and i have to fight to convince myself i exist
when there is no one to acknowledge my existence
no voice to break the silence
no laughter to fill the empty space

It is as if I had been swimming along a river all my life, guided by the banks
when I was suddenly thrown into the ocean without a shore to lead me.
And the vast unknown is unsettling, wide, and deep.

I forget that I can swim.
Or perhaps I am tossed by currents I did not know existed.

And on days, I even forget that it is in fact the water that keeps me alive,
and I feel that I am drowning, searching for air.