I’m in a vicious state of mind,
no siren calls to stem the putrid inferno
burning my mind to charcoal,
petrifying it to unblemished obsidian.
Words of love don’t reach me,
silly human endearments bore me,
touch me and I’ll slice your hands off.
It’s not good, they tell me.
But I will build my armory.
Until this warped, traitorous world
can be wrenched, twisted, hammered
back into hinges,
that I have complete control of.
Silence...
Finally

Testament of a panzer maiden

I envy the overarching morning light, her ability to travel any place. The affinity to marry day with night. Being the rising sun for the falling rain.
Darkly jealous I want to stake my claim, with shattering storms unquenched,
but I let her touch your body anyway.
She'll caress it softer than I ever can or would.
And if she awakens you with love aroused from dreams clenching secret gasps.
Know it's my thoughts carried through to you...

Torrents of my dark and molten heat ripping sense and traitorous heart apart.
You're brandished like a tattoo on my soul. I've imprinted the silhouette of you.
And in the bleak of the forfeited night.
She'll bring your touch for me to hold. A treasure for cold and lonely nights to keep,
when your embrace will be the only ember that can warm
my sobbing winter's bones.

So did I worship you enough?
Did I compose a love story in dreams
that could rip time and universe apart?
I hope I might...
Since I could draw the map of you by heart. Your skin forever branded on my lips,
and the taste of your whispers forever shaped on my tongue.

I've always suspected I'm an alien.
Lately I figured out,
that I'm an earthling
lost in space.

I need more heroes in my life
because it's lonely being the villain.

I wonder what it's like,
the gift of sleep.

It’s like suddenly being sieged
by black water holding you down,
with one fist around your chest
and another shackling your rest.
So when you finally give in to suffocation.
Smothering screams of molestation.
Crows pecking your burning mind
while you crouch by the window,
waiting for dawn to rush in
and save the day.

Your door is bolted with iron locks
shutting out persistent, saintly knocks.
But your window on the seventh floor
knows the allure of breaking apart.
Letting you try unseelie wings:
freedom without heartstrings.
So why does that sobbing ghost,
pleading by your locked door,
still hold enough ectoplasm
to keep your body safe
but your mind insane?

Maybe the reason I loath falling asleep,
is fear of waking up.
Finding out that I've lost you,
without even knowing.

Feeling my way through the darkness.
Guided by a beating heart.
I can't tell where the journey will end.
But I know where to start.
They tell me I'm too young to understand.
They say I'm caught up in a dream.
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes.
Well that's fine by me.

So wake me up when it's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

So wake me up when it's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

I tried carrying the weight of the world.
But I only have two hands.
Hope I get the chance to travel the world.
But I don't have any plans
Wish that I could stay forever this young.
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is a prize.

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and
I didn't know I was lost.

The moment it suddenly hit me
that I’ve met a shedevil equal to mine
I growled,
temporarily put into a dark dungeon of torture.
She!
A much more mature woman than me,
(kindly speaking)
with a voice raspy like rusty screws
drilling into my brain.
Droning on and on, repeatedly…
Don’t you just hate people that repeat themselves over and over again to make a point?
I could literally see my dark widow wings flay in sheer rage at her persistent but utterly boring rants.
I got what she wanted… I really did.
But I would not and never will share her elitist thinking.
Hell no, and **** it to obliteration.
I’d rather walk away in brimstone and fire.
Slashing everything and everyone in my way to ash, dust and dead atoms,
before I lay my body down on their altar of stupidity.

And when I turned my tormented gaze toward that sniveling, coward of a man hunkering down beneath our war table.
Daring to smile in smug triumph…
I felt crimson violence take me over.

War is upon you all,
and you’re already dead.
you just haven’t realized it yet.

The breaking dawn of the new year
came with shortness of breath.
Heartstuttering chaos
built and reinforced by yesteryear.
The vigile do not fall asleep - do not fall asleep.
Don't die on my watch.