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A small habit
Simple
Hideable
Now I fear this will create more issues
At one point, I could stop
I did stop
Now I start again
Through the pain, I continue
More scars on my body
Are these from something
or is my mind creating the itch
just so I can feel something
when all I feel
is nothing?
I see you in my mind
You are the focus of my stories
or the art I create

Longing for you
Dreaming of you
just holding me

Have yet to meet you
Have yet to hear you voice
But maybe one day

One day
you wont be
a mystery anymore
A simple thing really
Give it time
Time heals all wounds

But I wish it now
or life to speed up
and to already set me on my path

But then, when it is
I wish it slow
so I may enjoy life

Is there a time
when I am happy
with myself???
Finally free
of the chains that bound me
and tried to force me
to be the perfect person

Act a certain way
Be a certain person
never be yourself

I broke free of their grasp
finally able to breath once again
and onto new things from here
I'm in so much pain
My skin has turned on me
And what once showed a few scars
Now is leather itchy
Red patches cover it
And I scratch till I bleed
The scabs get deeper
And more scars are created
With every movement
I'm tired of being in pain
I'm tied of my body hurting
I want to be normal
I want to be human
Would it be to much
If I gave up this fight
And made the pain stop for good?
I use to worry about the next day
I use to worry about my grades
I use to worry about my friends
I use to worry about the scars on my arms
I use to worry about graduating
I use to worry that no one would love me

Now
My skin is a mess
My job chaos
And my mind in pieces

When did I go from worring about life
To being the punching bag?
Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.
When your heart gets broken by someone, it feels like you've been struck in the chest. The air feels like it's been knocked right out your lungs and you feel as though you can't breathe. You feel a mixture of emotions all blurred into one mess. You play the final exchange in your head over and over again, and each time it gets harder and harder. Heartbreak. It feels like you've been stabbed in the back and shot in the chest all at once.
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