there will never be enough t
                                              i
                                          m
                   ­                     e
                                      .
 ­                                 .
                              ­ .
                                 .
                                    .
                                        .
                                          *to fill this blank screen with all the thoughts
                                                                ­                                                     in
                                                                ­                                               my
                                                              ­                                      mind

Do you like the way it makes you sick?
Do you swim in the nauseous waves?
How do you live through the guilt
How do you live through the shame
Do you get the feeling afterwards
That you're even more lost and sad
Than before?

I write with broken lips and bleeding cuticles but I write and I write and I write

My skin color
Doesn't make me free
You can't assume because
Someone looks white
They are treated equally

Being white doesn't
Make me privileged
I worked hard to get
To where I am

I am not as "white" as I look
I am Hispanic
Which means that
Behind the scenes my
Family is not as
Well put together
As we may look

My parents are divorced
We're not poor but
They're struggling to
Get their kids a college education

I am a female
I didn't always have the
Rights I do now
For many years
My kind couldn't vote

For many years
Women were forced
Into a gender role
Being a female
Doesn't mean I'm weak

I am not straight
But also not a lesbian
Until this year
I didn't have the luxury of
Getting married to
Who I wanted where I wanted

People still don't understand
They think I'm confused
I can pray it away
You know what
Not even your
Backhanded religion
Can save me

I am not even
Safe in my own mind
There is a
Constant war
My depression and anxiety
Is eating away at me

You look at me
You see white
My people
We have
Always had to fight