have you ever believed
in something so blindly
so genuinely
that the moment you realize
it isn't true, something inside you
changes forever?
i wanna tell you a story, see
seldom do i ever
go swimming in drinks
deep enough to drown in
but when i do
i speak in tongues
about things that none
of my memories
are allowed to talk about
like that christmas
at the isthmus
where my girlfriend
plucked a conch shell
whiter than gods teeth
out of the sand
held it to her ear
and stopped time
that day she was a shade of blue
the could've made the ocean sick
see, she loved to play jokes
when she held
the sea shell to her ear
she gasped, called my name
and said "i want you to hear this"
i said "yeah, right, everybody knows it's just the same old sea"
she replied "no. not this one. this one is special. listen. theres music in this one"
she handed me the shell
like a promise she couldn't keep
and i held it to my ear
with all the potential
of seeing shore
after being stranded
at sea for years
only to hear
a tired dirge of silence
spill from its emptiness
i guess she didn't know
how desperately
i wanted to hear it too
because ever since
something inside me snapped
now sand pours out
of every post card i open
i hear seagulls
in telephone static
sometimes i have dreams
where i bury my hands
in every beach
i've ever been on
and exhume this graveyard of noise
every time i try to sleep
i spit up fishhooks
and i guess i'm obsessed
but maybe
if i hold my ear
to enough vacant things
then i could have back
the time stolen from me
since it happened
maybe they would get it
if they knew what i wanted
when i blow out birthday candles
maybe they'll find me
face down in a wishing well
i watch eternal sunshine
of the spotless mind every day
pretending i can forget too
because this sea sickness
has followed me for years
because yesterday
i walked into a music shop
and all the pianos broke
but the only thing
i can think to say is
*do you know how bad
a memory has to be
that you fantasize
about forgetting it?

You are not too old to dream a dream
Not too weak to walk a mile
If you really want to see the light
There at the end of the tunnel, you can find
When you take the risk, when you take the chance...

I can't
promise
to fix
all of your
problems
but i can
promise
you won't face
them alone!!

Your eyes, they were my favorite, always so glistening.
Your lips, so addicting, loving when both of ours combined.
Your hair, so extending, waves cascade down your shoulders.
Your laugh, so adorable, l could never get enough.
Your beauty, so admirable, flawless in my eyes.
Your smile, so broad, ever so appealing...
i lost it all, not once but twice, just my luck, all for the wrong price. Now i'm sitting here, throughout the rain, in an immense amount of pain. I'd take it all back if i could, take my chance without a thought. Start from the beginning, shouldve known my mind was spinning. All those late night convos, turned into short hello's and goodbye's. Not saying it's your fault, but it was me who didn't try. What happened to the walks we'd take, meet up and come home late? Late night strolls around the mall, didn't even hesitate? All my fault, i was so selfish didn't see it from your eyes. How you'd feel afterwards, me telling all these lies. I lost it all, not once but twice, just my luck, all for the wrong price. Now i'm sitting here, throughout the rain, in an immense amount of pain..