Topic - Like an idiot

like thoughts
i can't seem to get you out of my head and heart

like a minion
i stood beside you doing all your biddings

like a tree
i sprouted branches to connect with every part of your heart

like a parasite
i grew because i constantly depend on you

like dreams
i was a mere servant and you were my queen

like an idiot
i could tell she felt nothing.

One day you won’t need love or me anymore
One day you won’t care about the burden of others
The lies, the commitments they fail to uphold
One day you’ll realize the sun, the sky and
the moonlit night will always be there when people aren’t
One day they’ll call you shouting their hearts out
But that day will be nothing more than every other days of theirs
You’ll listen to their quivering fears and feel absolutely nothing
Your heart will fluster by their every pain and loneliness they show
One day you won’t walk through this earth feeling solitude
As though you were born from it or destined by it
One day you won’t be oblivious by the surrounding of fake feelings and people
But that you won’t be who were or who you’ve been
You will be a collection of past and present endurance of discomfort and uproar thoughts
That day will be my day and every other day.

tied my hands together
pieces of my memory lost forever
now i'm left with an emptiness
without knowing if they made me whole
i want to free myself from the torment
that can't be held anymore
so please free my hands from lies

tied my hands together
putting me to sleep in this picture
please take me out from the deep abyss
tired of being locked in a dark room
i'll abandon my empty shell
i just want to be free from my whispers
that kept me to sleep in darkness
so untie me from the memories i'll erase

What if I don't feel the happiness I read in books
What if I don't get a glimpse of my own happy ever after
What if I don't really exist for a purpose I'm just a cruel joke
What if I end up not making people around me happy
What if my fears and anxiety never leave me alone
What if my nightmares become my reality
What if I stop being able to express myself

What if there isn't a soulmate out there for me
What if all my Nos were meant to be my Yes
What if all the truth I told never did anybody good
What if I never get to feel the glory of Heaven
What if I came into this world with an alignment
What if I never amount to anything
But what if you end up achieving your dreams
What if you felt happiness like never before
What if you overcome all your worries
Just what if?

Dear 2030 Me,
How's the world over there,did the world get calm?
Am I even sure you made it there
I just hope you are there making us proud
Sorry to disturb you I know you must be busy with work
I hope you don't see it as work more like something you love
I hope you feel accomplished in every way
I hope we've gotten closer to God and his words
I hope we've gotten over your fears and embraced our flaws

Hey I hope you found love!
How is she?
Is she what we imagined or more?
How's the feeling of waking up to her everynight?
Did you find people who saw more than our fake smiles?
Did you overcome your demons and anxiety?

I hope I won't do something to drag our plans back
I'm barely making it right now with making the right decisions
But if it's all I imagined I guess I made the right decisions
I definitely know you've made mum and dad proud
I hope you are still friends with our old friends
Don't worry I want to know the rest when I get there
So stay safe and keep your head held up high

Nowadays I feel way too down for my age
Nowadays I feel deserted like I was left in a cage
I feel emotionless like I'm drowning in my past
I feel nothing regardless of my mental state
I'm used to eminent loneliness and hate
I don't mean to feel all these
I just really want know that bliss
Not a disney oriented love story that ends with a kiss
I'm just looking for somebody to rekindle the sparks
I'm just waiting for somebody to give me clarity
A love that's golden and sweet like it's charity
I want to find comfort in somebody's arms
I know love comes looking divine but set up for harms
I'm just a poet looking for hope in the hopeless cycl

I need nothing more
(for you are everything I seek, darling)

I fear no fate
(for you are my fate,my love)

whatever the world has installed
(you'll be mine, I will be yours)

whatever lies people author
(I'd trust you with my heart and nothing less)

trust your secrets and heartaches with me
(I'd still love you with every atom of my being)

trust I'll be there when you don't ask
(for isn't that the love we signed up for)

fear not about my love
(for I'd love you in numberless forms and numberless times)

fear not about commitments
(for I'd love you with my words and actions)

this my love and my feelings
(I carry in my heart where you reside)