I wipe my face
with grubby hands
and pretend it is you
who is caring for me.

But if there is no God,
who will I be angry at?

When I see God creating life,
I watch as his hands pause
over sculpting your body.

As he takes a moment
to smile slyly at himself
and take pride
in his most beautiful creation.

I fully believe in the butterfly effect.
Because when I see you,
I know somewhere else in the world,
the universe must balance out
your lovliness.

When you laugh,
I feel the breeze blow on a spring feild
and see a child
seeing the sunset for the first time.

When you smile,
Orange trees bloom
with white colored flowers
and a scent so sweet
the bees cannot resist it.

And when you look at me
with the face of an angel
and the emotion of a God,
I cannot help but see
your beauty
in everything.

And when you slip right through my fingers
and crash onto the floor,
a thousand scattered eyelashes
stare back at me.
I will stare at my hands
and blame them,
not you.

And I'll break a glass
just to prove
you could've
slipped right through
my hands.

The cold air hits my lungs,
as the animal in my body
takes ragged breaths
exhaling
vapor and fear
inhaling
a familiar stench.

The night smells like metal,
with the sun now eroding
the starry sky.

There is no time to think of how I got here.
A corroding metal bar swinging in the air
just missing
my head.