Chasing Dreamlike Stars...
My father once told me.
Stars will always be in reach.
But they will never be to keep.
You will live your life.
Knowing you will never hold.
The essence of life as was told.
I denied and continued to chase.
The light that drips like dew drifting through space.
I'm needing to feel.
I yearn to heal.
I'm still young.
But yet holding.
The stars vapor in my lungs.
I shed tears hoping they will take form.
As a lovely, blazing orb.
My father was right.
Stars will always be in sight.
But they will never be held by a mortals might.
So may my eyes
Admire the stars light.
While I shed my tears.
Among my years.
Praying when I die.
I become that light.
High up in the lord's night sky.
For people to admire while high.
For I wish to incite this world.
Through sobbing like pearls.
And through surreal like dreams.
That could make even the emptiest eyes gleam.
Through poetry our world can shine.
Brighter than God's moonlight on the ocean line.
My poetry will heal a few in secret.
Even if our world doesn't need it.
I will still be elevated knowing.
I did something for this world even without it showing.

Father.
Your here.
But yet too far to reach.
You hang on to me like a leech.
draining me of my smiles.
I could tell you the total amount of floor tiles.
Since the floor is all I look at,
when I'm being lectured by you.
Each scar caused by you.
Every drop of blood I lost.
was from every line you crossed.
You always said you'd do no harm.
But every time you said,
"are you done crying like a *****"
Was another tally carved in my arm.
When we're together the silence gets thick.
Like the smoke from your cigarette stick.
But I live in the silence.
Especially since,
The feeling of your hands around my throat.
Still lingers from the time you had my neck in your hold,
and I nearly passed out from being choked.
But I guess it's fine now.
Since you put my trauma in a pretty nightgown.
You say I'm always overreacting.
And that I have a future in acting.
But your wrong.
I have a future in acting,
On my emotion.
Acting on compulsion.
You raised me this way.
Don't get scared now that,
I have **** to say.
You say family never wavers,
Never shakes.
That's of course until the glass breaks.
But yes, lets fix this.
For god's sake.
Let fix this just for it to fall again.
Just to watch you cry to God,
while I say amen.
You don't want to acknowledge my mental health.
You think you can handle it yourself.
But I need more help than you can give.
All your doing is draining the life,
I want to live.
But of course, you never see that.
You never think "hey maybe he's broken"
Let me get him the help he needs to fix that.
But you know what.
I don't want help.
I want you to look at what you've created.
Look at the boy YOU overweighted.
Look at all the blood I've spilt in your name.
I'm writing this to give you all the love and fame.
For breaking me until I was no longer sane.
Enjoy the fame.
I will watch while I bleed out in your name.
So, thank you for the pain.