I tried to learn to paint
when my left hand is still bare
with all of the sanctity
that I tearfully held

It cut through my wrists
and my palm, it's ragged edge
still I held onto the brush
as I tried to image paint

For this time they're not lies
my goddess will not cry
for this time I won't bide
to the words my heart commads

So I'll paint, do teach me
how to grip your thorny brush
sworn someday, this forsaken mind
will have a masterpiece in hand

I am sad and angry
So drained and noisy

Exhausted with the tears
Your name chiming in my head

And the void is screaming
"Tell me your vain",

But no, I won't answer
I just stared into it's flame

I want it to touch me
And I want it to burn

With the holy of my water
From deep within my scorn

It was red but lighter
It was blue but thick

And I let it drown me
Till you call back my name

And
I laughed without humor
Cried without tears
My nerves all tingling
As I jump up in the air

I sang without pleasure
I begged without pain
Felt my hands cascading
To these very end

I felt the blade running
From the top of my despair
And I let it slowly touch me
As it cut me till I bled

Small red tablet
I am now drowsy

Small red tablet
I now forget *****

Small red tablet
I am now suddenly happy

Small red tablet
I now forgot what sorrow is

For a little longer
I would shoot among the stars
The sturdiest of asteroids
Make an armor for you love

For a little longer
I'd be swimming in a park
That has the muddy waters
To fetch that little swan

For a little longer
It'd be a Christmas fun
And I would greet you, grumpy
With aims to make you laugh

For a little longer
I'll write another rhyme
That holds my dear valentine
And I'd still call you mine

For a little longer
If we held on so tight
I would be hearing your voice
And you'd say I love you back

If only a little longer
You let me in your life
Then on that little longer
I'd still be by your side.