Before you said a word
I knew what every single one was.

Before you said his name
It was burning in the back of my head.

I thought I saw the future,
Our future,
But then I realized something dreadful:
I couldn't see anything.

Wounds that never heal
Do I deserve this torture?
Whatever, I'm fine.

Wrapped up in myself,
Skin tight.
I've made a mess of my life,
But I guess it's alright.

I've unraveled for so few;
Not worth it.
All those people,
Perfectly imperfect.

I've wrapped myself up
To keep it together.
But no matter how tight,
It doesn't feel better.

In most cases, I am at fault.

Nothing can replace the emptiness,
Even companionship, friends.
Every moment growing larger,
Deepening the trench in my bones.

Leaving myself open to the chance,
Overstepping boundaries.
Vicious words, vicious thoughts,
Each letter breaks the wall down.

Two sides to every coin
But how many to a person?
Where do my emotions separate?
I don't think I am supposed to know.

I told you exactly what I meant.
And you meant exactly what you said.
But does that mean I accept it?
Well...do I?

I do this because I can.
I am my last concern.
But should that be?
If I change, I'll just be selfish again.

Sometimes the storm comes
And you never see it

Sometimes it hurts so much
But there's no evidence
Besides the words
And the feelings
And the images
Burned into your brain
Because you can't imagine
Not telling her
That you love her
Every single chance you get.

But then the lightning strikes
And the thunder cracks
And you're on the ground.
It's not over
But lightning never strikes
The same spot twice.

So one day
You'll be living your life
Minding your own business
And it will hit you
And you will hear the crackle
And it will feel just as bad
If not worse
Than the first time.

She is my oldest friend.
She likes to lean in and whisper
"Don't you wish to be like them?"
And I never say anything,
Because I know the answer,
And I do not like it.

There are those who succeed often,
There are those who succeed rarely,
And there are those
Who wish they were both,
Because success is just another word,
Not an experience.