I break in with the initial thought
That no part of me was wrong
Even though icy coldness drapes me in
Throwing splashes of regret and guilt
I shave off goosebumps, wet sweat
My forehead twinges as pre threat
Tears trickle down yet intactly
Am I still arrogant and haughty?
Everything of me was purely wrong
It's howsoever isn't a breakthrough
Frost nights can merely convey lesson
Let's not do it tomorrow
That lean in before it leaves..

There will be gloomy days when
you will look back at your old self
and think about this one choice you made that
changed your life in many ways
You will think about the day you decided to leave
You left family and friends behind
hoping to find a better future on the other side
You were young and naïve
you were that quiet kid that
no one thought could ever leave
yet, on that September 6th 2013
holding hands with Fear and Hope
you boarded a plane that took you miles away

There will be gloomy days when
you will wonder why
on that day Fear didn’t pull you aside
and tell you that life
wasn’t going to be as bright on the other side
You will wonder why that quiet kid
had this strong need to leave
You will look back in sadness
and grieve the loss of those happy times you took for granted
You will be drinking the same coffee
mum used to make you on a Saturday morning
and you will be listening to those songs
dad used to play in the car on a Sunday afternoon
You will grieve what it feels like a loss
of those you have always loved

It’s on these days that you will feel alone the most

Inside your head it will be as dark as the sky
on a rainy winter afternoon
and your eyes will be as heavy as grey clouds
ready to let the rain pour down

It’s on these days that you will grieve the most

Though, they say there is always calm after a storm
and no matter how brief it can be
you will eventually find some peace
and it’s within this peace that
you will find the strength to remember that
not everything is as gloomy as it seems
It’s within this peace that
you will honour that quiet kid
who is no longer as quiet as they used to be
and it’s within this peace that
you will celebrate their new life as a fearless kid

while the braggart toppings must brew
bestowed me sparkles your broils
as I lay boundless and bare
yet haughtily up to the brim..

You cried, bellowed
I shook from miles
You howled, perturbed
I electrified, jostled
For tactless aid
You ,crooked and bruised
Faltered, while breathing at throat
Never did I flustered over
Yawned , propped in the corner
You shrieked , lungs slitting
I bragged of unkempt conducts
While you burst your nerve
I waved
You exploded..

Flowers blooming
Fruits ripening
Spring sweeping,
The fall of nature
Painting worthless imprints
While somewhere
In the remotest past
A shadow sweeps over
Wipes the stark glories
Quadrupling, surfacing
"The remotest past"
Back on the present pallette..

How much water dribbles
With deafening thuds
How much dry sympathy
Heaves with a warm sigh
While glaring at immoral furore
Over scorging throats
Who'd be the reformist plumber
For countless ,crooked creatures
With leaking wisery
How much then water has dribbled
With deafening thuds
In drains and floods..

shed in broad daylight, ablaze
shadows indignantly leaping
onto a reindeer"s freight
all barging for Everest expedition
bounding by degrees
amidst the arena of swans
honourable Prime Minister legging
a doughnut, soaring
then stationing intact at the peak
as needles pricking my conscience
i rise a tempering shriek
while the reindeers bellow laughter
with ****** oxygen,I gurgle
freezing, airy, thicker, fatter
yet another needle ****** my conscience
blasts me on my seemingly calm bed...