I had  some problems  im going to be away for a while
Gonna miss you my friends
Just writing this to say goodbye

Trembling vision and quivering knees indicate your world is shaking
A sinkhole beneath the concrete once thought of as a foundation
A tapestry of normality ripped violently to pieces
As you find yourself falling once again

A bleeding heart within my sight, a glass wall in between
As you pour your insides onto the floor and I look on helplessly
And I would offer a healing word, but the world drowns them silent
As I find you there, falling once again...

I can write yet I can't speak
I am strong yet I'm weak
I can express my thoughts on this page
Yet I am truly hesitant of the stage

My thoughts abound
Yet my voice finds no sound
I am quiet within the roars of crowds
Yet my mind soars above clouds

Though at times I wish to change
And my silent voice rearrange
I'm more creative due to compliance
I hear more due to silence

I remain humble behind the scenes
Trapped in the confines of my dreams
Whether by fear or by choice
I possess a silent voice

My kingdom is no longer of this world
I shall escape for i am no longer the lord
I am a traveller always walking without a goal
A wanderer moving away without a home

I am no longer of this world
My people are calling me
Let them run after me

This earth have grown too round for me
I shall hide blissfuly
I shall enjoy my security

I and me will run alone though we shall miss our land
In the night however , we shall dance


Words Of Harfouchism

There's a picture of me when I was younger on the nightstand
My pudgy little toddler cheeks beaming toward the camera
I'm holding sand in my hands, have been for all of these years
I don't see it slipping through my fingers

I think it's raining outside
It splashes on my window with soft thuds
Like the sound of faerie feet dancing across your face before you go to sleep

If I fell asleep now, I know I wouldn't dream
My eyes flutter, but there's too much to do and never enough Time-
It's always been slipping through my fingers, all of these years
I just wanted to be a good person, you know?

If I actually did my english homework tonight,
Would it warn me that good and perfect were never synonyms?
I don't though
I text you instead

"... and I'm really scared of becoming anorexic," I type
"I don't want to be like that"
"Oh sweetie," you hesitate
"If you're starving yourself then you already are. And that's okay"

My mind runs blank with those words
****

I'm anorexic.

I stare down the photograph of my toddler self, her and her empty, innocent eyes
I'm anorexic.
I bet she never saw this coming

Don't let me be like time or sand
*Please, don't let me slip away