her faint smirk widened into a treacherous grin
when you look at her, think twice now
if you ever want to run away or embrace the dangers of your fate
she wears confidence, her perfume is seductive
if looks and words can ****, your soul is soiled
your ego is bruised, your pride is crushed
my untouchability is a bad habit to break, you know
can't buy class or manners, just cheap or branded clothes
but the one wearing is a talking crocodile or a walking snake
she does cross her arms and not their feeble mind,
but you slept in tall cities while they swim in the deep sea of leptospirotic water
if conscience was your person, you got none
if guilt was a person, yours is killed
it was a hard pill to be swallowed
flexing your objects with your stolen money
which you made everyone fool was your hard-earned money

I howled at the moon which it waves back at me
I chased with the pack only to find survival wrapped in deceit
you know what was unbelievable to look at?
your face was unpainted with expression, but it says it all
but your intentions betrayed you for fooling me
say hi to the world for me.
even to the moon, it wanes and waxes, it stayed pretty and untouchable.

i will never be the best.
never the first thought,
the first name on someone’s lips.

there will always be a prettier girl,
a smarter one,
a kinder one,
a version of me i cannot reach.

i know this now—
and knowing it does not free me,
it cages me.

what is the point of trying
when i am always second,
always almost,
always close enough to touch
but never enough to keep?

this is the truth i live with:
someone better exists.
and i am the shadow
they forget when the light shifts.

The scattered words disturb the silence.
I prefer written pages with my left hand,
But it is trembling too much to write slowly
I miss him, his calm hands giving juicy oranges.

Shattered glass falls in slow motion,
Screams in the apartment,
Just the neighbor next door.
Another struggle,
Another soundless fracture
From the outside,
It’s not visible
What really hurts.

I have my refuge.
My piano and fingertips
Strike the rhythm,
Racing to speak in time.

What I want to repeat to myself
It isn’t lush or gentle,
Only barren,
like thoughts hung on a dry twig.
I trace figure eights,
Locked in a simple shape.
I stare and cannot fathom
The logic of a cold two plus two.
A thought-form circles
Around the blue planet.

Something pointing,
With its mercury finger.
It speaks in an unknown dialect
It shows the place to live
And huge fluorescent deserts.

The clouds’ minds —
A piece of earth
Soaked in different
Kinds of screams.

This is my blind chance.
I was born here.
In my mother’s paradise garden
Spinning in dawn’s glow.
Sometimes I just write
To ease personal and common guilt.

I hear tattooed numbers,
Granting citizenship of the lower caste.
And here,
The fresh scent of good life in the morning.
Blackbirds and thrushes fell silent.
My mother knows how to speak to them,
I know how to speak with trees.

Everything pulses,
On this small piece of earth,
Giving shelter to creatures
And stones no one throws.
I am here in a place I can happily bear,
Without cold speculation.

I can still dive into metaphors,
This is my greatest luxury,
The gift after so many disturbing lives.

It would be better to create a world
With only diverse breathing gardens.
I don’t need too much for living,
A naked soul is enough for me.

So, I am sitting in this landscape
And I peacefully hope
That my daughter will remember me tenderly
As I remember him, my father
And all who passed away.

The simplest thing is
The presence of every human being
It's like a celluloid film strip
Left behind the broken ribs
In the left ventricle of the heart
That never lies, never cheats me.

None of the guys
ever asked me out
they teased me
or just froze me out

I wasn’t stuck up
I was shy
I came from China
that is why

I didn’t know the styles and trends
or even where I should begin
there wasn’t much that I could say
I never talked much anyway..

so I sat there
and read

I was an incredibly
epic fail

To all the guys
who called me names
that tagged my locker
and tried to shame me

I wasn’t snooty
I was shy
I’d just come from China
that’s the why

I didn’t know the styles and trends
that let a new girl fit in
I’d never even used the Internet
I was as lost-in sauce as a girl gets..

so I sat there
and read

Which eventually
got me into Yale.
.
.
Songs for this:
*Conversation by X-Cetra
Simply Couldn't Care by Tracey Thorn
Human Behaviour by Björk

A quick side glance
Then a sultry stare
Two hearts
Completely unaware
Something magical
A beautiful surprise
As they looked into
Each other eyes
That single gaze
Was all it took
The earth beneath them
Left them shook
First comes the embrace
Then they kiss
Cupid's arrow didn't miss
Lovers under moonlit skies
Full of passion and butterflies
Breathing heavy
Hearts take flight
A lifetime of love
In a single night