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  Jul 11 South-by-Southwest
Asuka
I have been there before—
In the ache you now cradle,
In the waves that rise too high,
Tsunamis swallowing the soul
Where breath forgets how to return.

I have wandered oceans
Where hope was bait,
And shadows wore teeth—
Creatures of doubt,
Feasting on dreams half-formed.

I know the streets where darkness blooms,
Where even streetlights
Bow their heads in defeat.
And crossroads mock you—
Left feels wrong,
Right feels gone,
And nothing feels… anything.

But hush now, my dear,
I hear the tremble in your silence.
Don’t give up,
I trust the light still sleeping in you.
Don’t fear,
For my arms are open
Like dawn after a sleepless night.

I will wake you
With a whisper the sun understands.
I will hold you
Until your tears tire
And find their home.

Cry, my dear—
Let it out like rain on thirsty soil.
You are not broken.
You are a miracle in motion,
A poem still being written.

You matter.
Your breath, your voice,
Your quiet presence in this loud world—
All of it, born with purpose.

The ones you met—
The pain, the grace, the chaos—
All were stars on your map.

So now,
Lift your chin like a flower to the sky,
Straighten your back
Like the mountain you are becoming.
And walk—
Not to escape,
But to return to yourself.

Just walk,
One trembling, beautiful step at a time.
I’m right here.
Always.
Love doesn't come and go
like waves,
doesn't change every moment,
nor does it touch only
a part of you.

Love is the ocean –
it drowns you for good.
even I am puzzled that this phrase
did not prior
tickle my contronymic
poetic senses till now, for what is tender is of not always legal,
and what is legal is far far from
always tender
<>
tender/tenderness

gotta rank in my 10 top fav
words,
nothing transforms
swifter than an
unexpected kiss,
a hug from behind,
the light stroke of a forefinger,
brushing a tear from cheek,
an errant bang, a lock from vision interference,
All Super Legal
gracefully given,
gratefully given,
Wholly Unexpected,
and
great~fully
Accepted


<>
thinking that this maybe one of my
top 11 fav poems
~>
mmmmmmmmmmm
that's the sound
of me purring...
4;13am
July five
2025
my eyes tell everything
that's not a thing
it's the truth it is
the kind I once missed

one look in my eyes
and I begin to smile
not out of love
no-
that's been a while
cause I don't know
how to react
it's an error in my brain
with pain just like rain

not a mask
just not used to
act
Maybe one day, my eyes smile too...
look at me when I'm down
and I won't drown
won't forget the past
or what has last
I won't bet with the brains in my head
but I will with eyes of breath
those ones I have
cause I know your face
more than my ways
If I was hard to find, I hope you still tried
excited I got
looking forward
wouldn't stop
could almost touch
the dream I saw
behave I will
follow the drill

two months to wait
turned with one call
no faith
three years -it changed
older I get
let's see what's left
in 3 years
no drafts
a sketchbook full
of practice deep
sketches weep
still I will follow free
the path
for me

a dream that broke
so much to choke

discrimination it is
but I won't miss
they made a choice
but I have a voice
write it down
with rhyme, not frown
the truth I speak
without a leak
The story behind:

Drawing is kind of the only thing I have some confidence in. Because the only way to become better is practice. And I'm in some really weird world if I draw, I like it that way. You look. And if you really see it, you draw it. That’s how it works.

So when I found a drawing course that focused on really seeing,drawing realistically, cause that's what I like. I got excited. Finally, something where I fit into. Something serious.

But then…
They called my mom.
Said I was too young. 18+ only.
Could have made an exception if I was 17
But no way a 15 year old could come in. They never asked to see my art. Never cared how I draw. Just: “Too young.”
And “the teacher doesn't want you.” So I’m not getting in.

But that's not stopping me :)

This vacation, I’ll practice.
With some silly YouTube videos and some from real professionals, I will try every **** thing until, maybe some year sometime I could get in a class.
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