Seeing you now, after two long years, feels like staring into the eyes of a ghost.
I wonder why you walk alone, you mustn’t wonder the same of me.
We grew up, grew apart, I grew out of all we shared.
I grew into your ex boyfriends and best friends, I still bring you up sometimes.
Do you know I am the only one left?
Of our little group, popular only with each other, I am all that stuck around.
Walking past you on the street, the ghosts of our memories haunt my brain.
The happiness seeps through my cracks, and I feel young at heart again.

But you never catch my eye.

The sun rises eastward, as always.
It sets after its bold curve of the sky, burying itself under the West horizon, painting pink streaks through the clouds.
If I were to leave, if I were to vanish, the sun would still illuminate your smile on summer days, and leave you in romantic darkness on autumn evenings.

If I stopped existing, your life would cease to change.
I would remove my petty mind and heartbroken hands from your body, you would feel no pain from my removal, just a sigh as a heavy weight falls from your shoulders.

If I moved away in the future, if I left to achieve my dreams, you would forget me, soon enough.
A call once a week becomes a text once a year, as I celebrate with people who could never replace you.
So why is it so different if I simply go now?

If I fell from grace again, if my name meant sin in your mouth, I am sure you would be glad to see me out.
Your name breeds happiness to all who know it’s power.
Why would you want to be ruined by association?

When I stop existing, a tear may be shed.
In ten years my only memory will be a stone slab in a field.
A statistic to be sad about, but no real human lies beneath.

When I stop existing, the sun will still rise in the east, it will still set in the West.
Why should I stay when no one wants me around?

Blonde in hair and face,
Eyes glowing like the skies above our heads.
In a tired morning, I am in your presence as you sigh.
All I need is to throw my arms around you and hold you until the ground falls away around us.
I just listen,
listen to your pain because I hope it can be mine too.
The deep red lines across my skin don’t matter to you, sweetheart,
But I hope my smile chimes a sweet chord somewhere within.
Yours most certainly lights up my heart.
When your eyes meet mine, my sun starved soul glows in ultraviolet glory.
I don’t know how to get you,
I don’t know what I should say.
So I wait, all year long, until you leave me as well.