I write this scared
With one leg into today and the other stuck in yesterday
I write this to convince myself, almost to propel myself forward
I write this because I want to be happy.
I want to feel the sun again caress this face of mine
I want to feel the warmth of hope
I want to hold my head high once again
I want to believe I can.

I write this because today I'm all in.

I write this because I don't know if I can but I want to
I write this as a prayer or maybe a reminder
So that the days when I slip back into the darkness
And let these trembling hands grow weary
I may have a reason to hope
I may have a reason to try again.
I write this as a warning
That I may remember the pain in my life isn't the most important part of it – I am
And my smiles are.
I may remember that it is through forgiveness I am helped
I may remember for as long as I wake up to the next day, I am called to move forward

My child, I know you're tired and scared but I ask one thing of you: Take those trembling tired hands and find don't let yourself go.

You don't need to hold on to so many things..... just one. YOURSELF.
Through forgiveness,  you are helped
Through trying again, you are set free.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
If you're lost we all are a little lost and it's alright

Is it really true?
That I am not the only problem
Is it really true?
That I don't need to keep the pain – but I've grown used to it
I don't know anything else but the pain
I don't know anything else but the hate of the reflection I see in the mirror
I don't know where to start

So even though I should have gotten up, I sat back down
For my eyes were accustomed to the darkness and I didn't know if I wanted to try again
My heart was scared, my hands tired
I couldn't get up
There's so much I didn't know
What if I stepped out there and got hurt again
Why do I have to see constantly the people who have caused me pain
Is there hope for someone like me with so many scars...............

My child, how long will you let the past hurt define you
Tell me! How long will you hold on to people who were never meant to stay
How long will you live in yesterday and abandon today
Your story isn't over
My child, arise!
You are alive today
There's something more for you out there

I held on to you so much that the pain you caused me felt like it would heal
I made myself believe I was the problem and despised the broken pieces that reside in me
The more I held on to the hurt, the more I let myself go
I called, whispered for help but pushed everyone who came
My hands grew tired and the hope kept leaving me slowly
Soon I laid in the stench of my hopelessness and self hate
And believed this was my new life
One of hate, pain, depression and loneliness

I remember the days it came so easy
The lines falling into place
With rhymes as sweet as melody

All the pain translated into words
All these tears into lines
What easy days those were.

Many years later
My pain burns silently
Looking for an avenue
But I remember not the language of the pen - the song of the poets

Now, I know blood. Scar after scar to make the voices stop
Slice after slice to make the pain stop
But I feel it. Louder after every cut.
The scars tell of that noise.

Tell me where can I go
What can I do
For this pain to finally stop

Follow my fall
Step by step
Blind as you are
Follow my fall!

Run to the hills;
Run away!
The flames are coming
.......the flames are here......

Let it crash
Let it burn
Just fix your eyes
On the beauty of the flames.

Blind to the flames
We watch our nation burn
Because we know
They will follow our fall.

Let's watch the world burn
With arms around our backs
And claim we are numb
To the smoke in our lungs

Live for me
In all madness and insanity
Live for me
For though my time has come
My time has not ended.

I've seen those eyes before
That tell their story
As you gaze into their soul

I've had those eyes before
That cry for a break
From all the world is throwing

Yes, we've all had those eyes before
Looking for someone to save us from
Ourselves, others and the world

Yet we wait till we're old and gray
For pain can't save pain,
Darkness can't save darkness

Indeed we are all hostages of those eyes
Bound in a world with no answers
Where those trapped in the chaos of breath
Know not of the light on the other side.

My eyes sweep across the terrain
Savouring each moment as the last
I feel the wind against my skin
Disrupting the peace that once settled on the leaves
Even after it's gone the aftermath is still unsettling
But the leaves fight for the calm that once existed
Swaying haphazardly to the beat of the beat of the wind
Though as time goes by the leaves are losing hope
Moving freely and lightly than the last
I don't need to be one of them to know this
"They are giving up the fight."

We're here for a season
Only for a phase
That will give reason
And justify the A's
We're just letting life live
And making ourselves breathe

I say we're here for a season
Not just a lifetime
What will only define us
And lay the law of life
It's a task for the best
That will reveal the rest

You say we're here for a season
So let's make it count
And prove the world right
That though it's a season
Let the light be for a lifetime

Not all poets can see
Some are just as blind
As those who can't write

I look into his eyes;
In the pictures in the videos
And I see hope
Not a man who was dying before our eyes
I see a man who found his purpose
Who gave hope to the black nation

I look into his eyes
And I see a warrior
Who wore a mask Everytime he stepped out to the public eye
To hide his pain and give hope to those who were still living

But as I look upon his face now
Eyes closed
I still feel the aura reaching out
Telling us not give hope up
For it is a gift that can never be destroyed

So I gaze upon his face
I feel proud of the man he showed us
The man we knew
The one whose strength we shall never comprehend
For it gave us hope
And in hope we shall remember him in.

I get lost when I'm out here on my own
I lose my sanity amidst the crowd
Which a greater price to pay
For the quest of inner peace

What is trust  without betrayal
Love without hate
It's all a sphere of nothingness
With no reason of life

What is peace without war
Wealth without poverty
The essence of life
All in a mess

Reason we strive
The answers we need
A vacuum to fill
Yet a again I ask
What is good without bad?

It's all coming back
Trace by trace
Vivid in my mind
But yet so blur
To have it complete
A picture so vibrant
Is an only wish
But the world around me
Proved a great deal
That this maze I'm running through
Is not yet,
Not nigh,
Not even
Close to the end

With untainted love
We cross the seas
To the depth of the universe
Seeking unknown fate
But time our greatest for
Stands tall with guillotines
Bigger than our love
Unlimitedly we move on
With the ultimate inquiry;
"Will our love stand a test of time?"

Maybe it wasn't enough
The cry for help,
The lines we write,
The tears we she'd
Maybe we weren't loud enough
When we drop our smiles for an instance
And let the despracy for a saviour shine instead
Maybe we're trying to hard
To be the novels we read
And look for our cliché story in our lives
Or maybe we're dreaming too hard
To think the world has a saviour for each of us
A will and a way
Because I'm tired of waiting
Maybe it wasn't enough
For my mere existence to guarantee a saviour
Maybe I wasn't enough.

It's an inevitable fate
A life discovered
For he who finds love has fallen in love
It's about who we cherish
Whether we live or perish
If through the maddening crowd,
Love will still conquer it all
Even as fragile as glass
Love will see it through
To tread the world with only a hope for the future
And no control of the present
Just living in the moment
With that someone special
Is only what I call
" Falling in love"

It's the life we live that makes the shadows
The mirrors of our own souls
For man is not what he appears to be
But what he hides in the darkness
It all comes down to being the mirror of the shadow lying in the darkness
For what man thinks is hidden will come to light so why wait?

I lay on my mother's grave
I lay on my hope
I lay on my love
Where all my dreams died
With the one who inspired me to dream

Too many blows
A human can only take
For the last deeper than the first
Leaves a wound deeper than the last
One can only take
too many before she resides back to her fortress of solitude

It does not matter whether we fail or succeed because just like everything else, failure is just a memory.

Mistakes are what make us human, perfection is what keeps us living.

Its more than just the work
It's more than just the cash
All we stood for 15 years ago
Now put to the test if our ego
All the principles we used to treasure
To no standards in the real world they now measure

For the future is a new era
Blinding reality like a light from a camera
The real test has now started
All once sorted now deserted
But we have to be strong
And prove the world wrong

For 2035 is year of success
A year the world will have to process
With faith we stepped into the future
Not knowing it's true nature
But one thing is for sure
This is not a year we are intending to lose.

I heard you whispering to the wind
A fantastic tale
I searched your thoughts
for at trace of hurt
But all I found was a gallon of love
for whom I knew not to this day

I too whispered to the wind
A sad story
Of the love I gave you but none in return
Regret befell me as I wished to the star that flew by
Why I searched your thoughts

I waited to the still of the night
And the wind whispered,
" At least now you know the truth"
I got up and left for an untold journey with a grateful heart to the truth in the whisper.

Not a fairy godmother
Only a human being
Not a sorcerer
Only a girl
With fears, troubles, hopes and dreams
Nevertheless I take a step
To the world of the unknown

With Faith as my sword
And hope as my shield, I move forward
But by every strike, every stab
I move back
Trying to pick up the broken pieces
And gather strength to move on

With a failing armour
I retreat back to my mother's nest
In disappointment
Not at the world but myself
For I failed
To try, to live and to hope.