I cry
Not for me, not for you
Not in sympathy nor in pity

I cry
At how easily I can put up a blank face
And not hide behind that fake smile

I cry
Because of the repetition and
every thing I N B E T W E E N

I cry
The mental and physical, tearing me little by little
Each time, only to be scarred

I cry
Because this is making me stronger,
But still hurting, for each new second

I cherish you

like the feeling of cracking open
the window on the first day of spring
Feeling the warmth of the sun
breathing in the smell of flowers and grass
hearing the birds awaken from a slumber

I cherish you

like waking in the dead of night
to the sound of a summer storm
Listening to the soothing patter
watching the lightening eluminate
as you smell the damp macadam

I cherish you

like that moment of precipus
before plumetting into sleep
It's a calm filled with ambiance
and warm enveloping bedsheets
that emphasize the taste of mint on your teeth

I cherish you

like hearing a hearty laugh or
putting on a new pair of socks
because the little things
the things we tend to take for granted
was the way I loved you --

the way I cherish you.

A burst of flames, as if that would help.
I'm filled with anger, the worst I've ever felt.
I don't know how to control it, I don't know how to let it go.
Because every thought that comes by, loosing my life is all I know.

Flames coming through my eyes.
I'm worked up over my life of lies.
For now it's become too much for me to bare.
I'm filled up with rage, and I'm ready for it to burst into the air.

My thoughts are polluted.
Shame, anger, rage is included.
My minds wrecked with this pain.
Everyday it seems to be the same.

But now it's too much to handle.
It's too much to be tangible
So this answer is true.
To reach peace, taking my life is what I have to do.

Im drowning in a Sea of Blood.
The blood which flows inevitably
from the hole in my heart- to which it's self inflicted.

He is my poetry,
to him i write with all novelty.
My pain and anguish all transcripted to words.
I hold on, nothing amends.

I'm foolish for doing this,
and yet I know if i look back I wouldn't change a thing. Or would i?
confusion fills my heart.
i turn to distraction-the only way i stay apart.

To this i fool my own foolish heart,
that words would ever mend this canyon heart.