I apologize,
for I am broken
and for all the things
I've left unspoken.
I criticize
myself, every time
you're around
for within myself I looked and reasoned
and there is not a cause to be found.
I am tainted
by my past renditions
left me in this strange condition
for more- is never enough,
but away these marred feelings I tuck.
But, it's okay
I swear I'm fine
I'm just losing myself in my mind
she calls me through sleep and time
to whisper horror stories late at night.
Lady Dressed in black,
disintegrating yet still whole
crying, as I sputter
shovelling dark, demonic coal.
Into the fire, she burns,
down beneath, revealing
something I never wanted to see
but she showed it to me anyway.
Held my hair and made me stay,
made me touch, made me play
made me say I like it
I swear I like it
I do.
it's really hard to describe
exactly what I've been through.
I've recited it enough in my mind,
I'd like to explain it to you.

I'd like to believe I could
if you were to ever bring it up.

but whenever I try to talk about it
the words always get stuck.