I’m so tired, exhausted in fact.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of believing.

I wish I could sleep through it all.
Dream through the hurt.
Dream through the time.
Dream through the numbness.

But I can’t sleep.
Even if I could, I’d still be tired of living.

Turn out the lights.
Hide everything away.
Lock down the door.
No one is here to stay.

Put the bottles in the cellar.
Wipe the dust from the shelf.
Close all the curtains.
I need to be with myself.

Turn out the lights.
Make it all go away.
Don’t touch the door
No one wants to enter anyway.

Clear all the tables.
Tuck in the chairs.
Shut down the kitchen.
I have my own affairs.

Turn out the lights.
They aren’t needed anyway.
Put another bolt in the door.
No one has anything to say.

Cut off the music.
Tell everyone to go home.
Load up the dishwasher.
There’s nowhere left to roam.

Turn out the lights.
Get out of my way.
Board up the door.
I’ve watched my mind decay.

I will turn out the lights.

I will lock the door.

Since no one else is here anymore.

Please hold onto me Nana,
Hold on as long as you can.

I know it must be hard to trust me,
Since you don’t know who I am.

I want to help you remember,
However I am afraid it’s gone too far.

But I remember everything for us both,
From pinched cheeks to trips in the car.

You taught me how to be strong,
But right now I am not.

In a wide world full of people,
You’re really all I’ve got.

It’s hard to comes with,
As physically there’s nothing wrong.

Nana, it’s your mind that’s left us,
I fear it won’t come along.

We’ve got so much left to do,
I have so much left to say.

I wish I could protect you from the fog,
But it’s impossible for this to go my way.

Death hasn’t taken your body Nana,
He has kidnapped your memories.

He is cruel and unjustified,
I promise he’s making some enemies.

Please hold onto me Nana,
Hold on as long as you can.

I will love you forever and always,
But time is never outran.

Who am I?
Who am I really?
I don’t understand what I used to see so clearly.

What am I?
What am I becoming?
For I have wounds that are no longer numbing.

Where am I?
Where am I headed?
I feel like I am what I’ve always dreaded.

Once windows, now bars.
Once doors, now gates.
Once media, now guards.

Once happy, now confused.
Once loved, now alone.
Once free, now trapped.

A prisoner in my own home.

Do you ever just forget what’s going on?
I forget.
I forget that the world isn’t normal.
I forget that nothing is the same.
And every realisation is just as heartbreaking.

I really wish I could forget for a lot longer.
Just forget.
I could pretend that nothing has changed.
I could pretended that this is normal.
But my heart would still sink just as hard.

I wanted to go to university,
And then I failed college.

I wanted to be a writer,
But now my words have lost all meaning.

I wanted to love someone forever,
Yet they couldn’t love me for a day.

I wanted to live a healthy life,
Now substances hold me hostage.

I wanted to be somebody great,
But not anymore.

I don’t want anything at all.

My work of art,
My perfection,
My peace.

Your smile,
Your eyes,
Your shape.

Our love,
Our memories,
Our future.

My love, you’re one I’ll never replace.

Life used to be so dull,
My heart used to be so heavy.
What I thought was an eternal pain,
Is now just a memory.

Since you came alone,
I can finally breath again.
Your soul fills my lungs,
You are my oxygen.

You’ve brought back my brighter days,
I never thought they’d return.
Thanks to you my angel,
I couldn’t ask for more.

Dear Someone I loved the most.
You no longer hold a place in my heart.
You no longer are my soul.
You no longer keep me captive.
How can it be that you were...

Someone I loved the most.

Dear Someone I loved the most.
I wonder what you’re doing now.
I wonder why you let me go.
I wonder who holds you close now.
But you will always be...

Someone I loved the most.

Dear Someone I loved the most.
I have to let you go now.
I have to say goodbye.
I have so much more to say.
I’ll never forget...

Someone I loved the most.

Each night I call for my love,
Yet I get no response.

Each day I think of my sweetheart,
But I can’t get further than a thought.

Each evening I cry for my darling,
However tears solve nothing.

Each hour I picture my angel,
Though the image is no longer clear.

I am sure the world has gone mad.
And maybe I have too.
For these four walls can’t talk yet.
But I’m sure they will soon.

And

I am trying to keep myself busy.  
I am trying to hold onto the world.
For these four walls can’t hear me.
But oh, I wish they could.

However

My melancholy may be loud.
Because I keep my hopes silent.
For these four walls aren’t to blame.
But they aren’t offering hope.

So

I sit here all day and all night.
And pray for those worse.
For these four walls can’t feel.
But they keep me safe regardless.

Now

These four walls can’t hurt me,
But what’s outside them can.