Q - Hello Poetry

Q Sep 2015

Honesty

I imagine you already understand what I'm proposing
Though I don't quite feel I can openly say it yet.
I've laid down the groundwork I feel is necessary
And pushed the idea honestly, if not slightly indirect.

I imagine this may not work and I'm resigned to that.
I can see where I'd like to be though I'm satisfied here.
I've a picture in my head that I can't quite shake free
And it's bright, beautiful, untainted by fear.

I'm nothing but blunt though I'd like to think I've tact.
I'm not impatient enough to push and rush.
I'm don't believe my efforts will seamlessly bear fruit
But the possibilities are more than enough.

I imagine that I'm not reaching, not stretching
To make something that can't exist.
I imagine but, if I'm wrong,
I'm quite content as is.

im posting to much
i never post this much
what even
im taking a break

i think

Q Sep 2015

Entirety

When I ask for all of someone
I want them in their entirety
From their thoughts to their skin
To every bit of the world they see.

I'm not asking for the most you've given
To anyone before.
I'm asking for every second you've lived in.

When I count someone as my own
They mean more than every person
They mean the moon, the stars, the air I breathe
They mean all of the love I have to give, and then some.

I reach out for friendship and receive family
I'm not loyal for them
I'm loyal for what they mean to me.

When I've chosen to be close to someone
I've chosen to take on their every burden
Whether big or small or morally corrupt
I'll shoulder the weight of it for them.

I'm not asking them to bind to me
Something so trivial has no appeal
I'm asking for their entirety.

remembering topics I talked to my psychiatrist about (and failed to explain correctly)
More thanks to V for helping me correct the last stanza :)

#love #life #friendship #thoughts #family #entirety #chausv

Q Sep 2015

Cole Pt. 1

I'm thinking of you today
And, for once, I want you out of my head.
I'm imagining the way you left
But still can't accept that you're dead.

I'm missing you today
It's almost been a year now, I still don't understand.
I'm wondering what demons you saw
That ate away at you down to your wit's end.

I'm hating you today
The same way I do every time I hear your name
I'm cursing you, screaming, angry
And you'll never know so it's all in vain.

I'm loving you today
The same way I do every second of every minute
I'm remembering the words I'd say, like,
"Life isn't worth living if you're not in it"

I'm thinking of you today
I can't remember your eyes quite as clearly
I'm missing you today
And I'll miss you forever; I love you dearly.

Two weeks until the anniversary and I'm in a bit of a tail-spin of emotions.

#love #life #sadness #death #loss #missing #anniversary

Q Sep 2015

Subtlety

It is not my forte.