Goals are great destinations but there are so many great places and people in between.
Isn’t that the bitter sweet part about chasing our dreams?
We have to say bye to places and people to say hi to new ones.
I pray that when it’s all said & done I can look back & feel like I’ve truly won.
Life is a race where we don’t get to pick the finish line.
Same as you, I just hope I’ve chosen the right people and place when I finish mine.
I never want people that miss me to feel like It doesn’t make me cry too.
The only negative to chasing our dreams are the people we have to say bye to.  
They say you can’t eat your cake if you make It.
I just wish I could share It with every person I love when I bake It.

Isnt it amazing? We feel missing someone more than them being at our side.

The anguish of their absence invades our dreams & they're in our thoughts well before we even open our eyes.

Why aren't smiles more powerful than cries?

Because pain demands to be felt but you have to make the choice to feel your happiness or not, & you should soak it all up if you're wise.

We're only human, we're flawed, & those flaws cause us to lose humans who's flaws are invisible to our eyes.

I see others with pencils & mine is always a pen. I never get another write to make it right, why can't I be one of the ones that gets two tries?

There’s a knot in my stomach, can’t tell if if Rylee gave me the flu or I’m missing you.
Reminiscing about that perfect room.
Me seeing my mom standing next to you.
Healed things I have yet to live through.
Before I even prayed for an angel the Lord assigned me two.
Happiness is hard to find, with you I’ve found myself.
Love truly makes you blind, I don’t see no one else.
You say I’m not ugly, and that may be true.
But that’s how I feel when I stand next to you.
Have you seen you? it’s like you’re from a mystical source.
Your are my prayers in physical form.
You always drink to much but I was seriously scared last night.
But the lemons into lemonade is I realized i wanted to take care of you for the rest of my life.

The space between the notes makes the music, the ball in the air is the ****** of a clutch moment.

The thing about a moment is you can’t both be in It and try to own It.

So that is my goal for 2024, to fight my human urge, to know it’s futile to stare at the clock.

See that’s where we get It from, anything with two hands doesn’t ever want to stop.

As It will always go on, I wish to do nothing knowing law says I must flow on the same river.

Now that I’ve gotten over myself, I finally understand time is the only owner and giver.

Greatness is something a busy man asks for but it’s something patience demands.

The death of curiosity and creativity always comes from those making plans.  

Here’s to spending my questions but saving my time.

Trusting I’ve plucked enough grapes to one day drink my wine.


Or, I sure hope I’ve learned to get over myself…

If when we die we leave earth indefinitely, we’ve been given our own forever.

For the loss of breath is the gift of the inability to dislocate all the things we worked to put together.

Our efforts will be etched into the nickel and become ours for all time.

The inability to see time pass is equivalent to It stopping, my forever, I am obsessed with mine.

Even some efforts extend beyond our moments, what admiration I have for those who invented the sail.

Here is the wind, we can’t see or control It, as It comes we shall harvest that, we can prevail.

Isn’t that life? The luck will come and go, I must fully harness a way to make such a force my slave.

Fulfillment and peace, the only two things God will allow us to bring to our grave.

Uncertainty is my friend, money is something they print, when I list all the blessings God continues to send,

I see reality is something he meant for me to bend.

so close in distance.
Hearts so far away.
imperfections & chasing, I miss it.
Stars I wish on begin to shine grey.

Loud cries you'll never hear.
You hate me & I hate your gone.
The Sound dies and you're never here.
I can't fight any longer, you've won.

Whats good news without your cheers & laughter?
Nothing. Just good days with restless nights.
You pray & I pray that I'm allowed to be your prayers answer.
I've lost my essence, a naked spruce that's been snatched of it's Christmas lights.

I remember that it hurt, looking at her hurt.
They saw what she projected,
But I just saw her.
Maybe I just saw a prize within her.
Most people buy diamonds,
I'm more of a digger.
I'd give her my all
just to wake up bitter.
Shot after shot she knocked me down and still I chased her,
I fell in love with clear liquor.

Can you hear me right now?
My heart is racing but there's surely no sound.
I'm always here but I'm never around.
I'm finally on my feet & you're knocking me down.
Lord not right now, not right now.
Can you trust me right now?
I've Queened you but I forgot your crown.
You're an ocean, I don't want to drown.
My standards are high, you're above the crowd.
Your pictures are screaming, why are you so loud?
Jumping while looking down.
Tried to slide in safe but you're calling me out.
Apology letters from the ones that miss me right now.
Smiles behind frowns, night doubts.

Must've never been cheated on, all that trusting love ****.
People lift you up to let you down, my happiness come from my own ****.
No Feels, No Feels.
Love in our generation is like taxes.
Put all that work in but what you get out never matches.
Now you're failing classes, tears on your glasses, in the club doing things to make em jealous now they've made you appear classless.
No Feel. No Feels.
If you swallow butterflies don't choke.
The world is full of crooked folks.
Stand up for the wrong person and it's simply comedy, you up there telling jokes.
No Feels No Feels.
If anybody is to ever sweep and Melt me
That Love better be a selfie.
Nobody else in the picture, excuse me, it's just me.
No Feels No Feels

One day you'll escape gravity
You know, when you jump that thing that snatches you back rapidly?
But be careful when you're in the air
You'll hate what you find there
"Yes, of course, your house? Yeah."
Things they whisper in my ear.
Get yours & get gone.
That's nice & she's fine, so what's wrong?
Money brings troubles & they won't leave me alone.  
During *** you'll feel alone,
You'll realize you've grown when it dawns on you her beauty can't turn a house to a home.
Evenings turned to Hennights
It's been a while since I was denied.
Went to sleep alive, just to wake up in my dreams have me & all my friends died?
Oh Lord how I've arrived.
The sky's the limit but achievements cause cavities.
Privilege isn't power, it's the absence of gravity.
Nothing holding you down.
But when you're floating, when everything is floating, it's easy to lose your crown.
I took my ego & drowned it.
Gravity holds you back but it also keeps you grounded.

I always thought you were to amazing to end up with me,

I just hoped still.

But it's not time spilled.

Just a cup half filled.

Movies. Shows. Clips.
I stare into screens that take me away.
My mind lapses & my mind begins to play.
Every day a screen steals my time.
A robber of thoughts, theft of the mind.

Earth's canvas, leaves fall on paint.

The sun becomes a recent memory, there but faint.

The air feels like a restart.

It wasn't my year, but this is my part.

When the leaves fall, I pick myself up.

Holidays, where we forget the selfish stuff.

Hold my hand, search my eyes, & judge my plate.

Cold weather, warm houses, and allergic faith.

If I die before i wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

But should the lord find an empty bay, my soul is a vessel I gave away.

For I loved my friends and family like It was always my last breathe.

Knowing life is not a fair game, this is how I’ve cheated death.

I’ve jam packed my will and reduced all the days I said I wouldn’t.

Giving all efforts in my youth, turning my head to see all perspectives I once couldn’t.

Not arguing with my loved ones allows me to argue with death and get the last word.

For at my funeral you all will say things I’ve already heard.

I am a poet who dreams of one day writing a novel.

Every attempt in my notebook to display this desire,

presents a writing ability with mere sparks, whereas poems combust into roaring fires.

I realize I can’t write my novel until I live my novel.

Since the love makes the author , the author will only accept novel worthy love.

Do your emotions party? Like days they just decide to all meet up in your mind to dance?

This might end up being One of the expressions of my puzzled soul that comes off quite hard to understand

But then again, Life' s hard to understand. Simply amazing reflecting on the things I've been able to With stand.

To repeatedly flicker off the rains I stand under without anyone to stand with & keep faith that it's all part of a plan.

On any evening without invite, my emotions show up and dance. They slide and prance, & the ruckus from their foxtrot transforms to words that escape through my hands.

Words to script & they proceed to dance, and maybe one day I'll be dancing with them if I'm ever gifted the chance.

If not, it's okay, there has to be more to life than Romance, right?

Things that are more captivating than a bewitching glance, exceeding the rush of pulling down pants, some alternate force that can also add a bounce to my stance at night.

They tell us soul mates aren't fiction, that some day we'll all say "I do" & drown out cheering applause while we grasp that mate on marble floors doing the salsa.

Laughable, there couldn't be anything falser.

**I know I'll be dancing alone.

What is a dream other than a moment we hope to hold?

I find myself obsessing as the winds shift from hot, to warm, and back cold.

Leaves fall, I rise and rise, ignoring seasons.

A list that was once extensive has been reduced to one reason.

A fire burning for one desire.

A vehicle built for the distance has the ability to finish on one tire.

Threads get weak, and the rubber gets so thin.

However I’ve noticed pressure tends to come from within.

A finish isn’t satisfying without the terrain you’ve made It through.

I may love my dream, but my dear process, It was all for you.

I’m living a life where we sure to treat everyone equal.
The only people who’re less are men who don’t treat & view women as people.
If you a man & don’t understand your woman then you need to ask her.
You don’t have to be a surgeon to cut out the cancer.
Seeing something funny & opening your mouth can be just as easy as laughter.
If the wrong person in my cabin, the tires screeching shortly after.
It’s usually the people who don’t reach their goals that do the most reaching.
Noticing it’s Loving women that do the most teaching.
View how much I love my mother, I love my woman, I live what I believe in.
Be careful who you’re around. Be careful what you breathe in.

A mountain I simply couldn't hide from.
Even when you're running bases you've got to slide some.
I'll really open up for a second here.
I'm in the real world & she's in her second year.
Discrete with my private life because graduation doesn't lessen fear.
They could never talk to you so they in your woman ear.
I'm 22 making more than the average household median.
My hometown binge watches my life & students are reading in.
My phone rings off the hook and I'm feeding fake friends.
Im cut thin between safari and him & she's the only win that makes the bleeding end.
Six figures used to be the dream, now it's a step away and my closest friends aren't successful yet.
I love them so much I wager money on games, and then pray they win the bet.
JC called me that same night, told me he had an interview while I was on a corporate flight.
I turned off my overhead light & spent minutes praying he got every question right.
So In a period where I'm shining how do I admit to myself she's the brightest spot in my life.
So scared to step out of the darkness just to have someone take away my light.
If I ever fall so many people around me lose their fight
& I'm the type of person if theres nine people to feed I'm eating ninth.
I guess I really just have to think things through.
Because if you lose your dream girl you often lose your dreams too.
God, this position I'm in.
Sometimes the loss scares away the win.

Souls that don't ache are always advising that we simply "open up more."
There's not a single band-aid on your body, how could you know what's it's like to fear love sores?
I do, so I cower in my shell, well my eyes shut, and slam, lock, blockade all doors.
But of course, it never really helps. New love sneaks in through the window cracks & the tears ooze their way out through my skin's pores.

I’ve begun to slip into madness.

Reminders of society bring about thoughts and stomach sensations that kind of feel like sadness.

They’re more reminders I could become sad but It’s a distant yet familiar hole

It’s like glancing through prison bars separately me from my soul.

However here I must remain as I chase my dreams in my self manufactured exile

The obtainment of true freedom, ironically requires one to be locked away for awhile.

I’m starting to believe summiting Everest is all about grip.

That’s the thing about going to the edge of reality, you just might slip.

The suspense of impending insanity perturbs me,  so I dive forward full force.

Freedom I preach, the path however, I do not endorse.

Suns descend, Moons rise & the moment my chamber becomes dark I'm again trapped in this puzzling, and tormenting box.
My wrists hand cuffed and bound by my insecurities & questions I won't accept the answer to, unable to sleep at night I'm always policed by my own thoughts.
Statements that once seemed so true are interrogated by my lack of trust & begin to sweat drops of lies and betrayal.
My goals are set in the horizon of a seemingly endless hallway and I find myself kneeling, sheltering my ears from the terrorising sounds of people hoping for me to fail.
A raging tycoon sweeps through my mental hamlet & I always just want you to hear the storm, for you to know your own storms are not uncommon, that you can trust me, or you should.
But you don't care to listen to me let alone trust me enough to let me comfort you with your own aches and Demons whisper me to me "you're unworthy, for her you're just no good."
I would love to go to sleep imagining perfection, A fairytale world where my goals aren't far away, & we have conversations where trust and comfort is abundant to where there aren't any problems to be relevant.
But sadly, my mind doesn't operate that way. Doubts in my mind tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not close enough, doubts enforced by my own logic & I seem doomed to serve a life sentence in a dungeon composed of my own thoughts, a prisoner of my own intelligence.

On a pain scale 1-10 death is a 0.

Zero for the deceased and a ten for breathing.
Appreciation at 1 when they come & always a
10 when we're forced to watch them leaving.

Days are numbered for us, for the people we love, & the plants that gift us breathe.
Would you still care? Would you still crave that job? Would that heart break still hurt if the clock was almost done ticking & you knew you were facing death?

A scratch wouldn't sting If it simultaneously occurred along with a stab.
The small joy of a giggle loses its stimulation when placed next to a stomach squeezing laugh.

More and Less, More or less? The words are meant to be a measure of the amount of things, or people, but in reality they are the enhancement and suppression of appreciation.
Ten dollars is appreciated until twenty is seen. Take someone who complains about asthma as if it's the worse curse & diagnose them with cancer, they'll suddenly forget asthma is even involved in the situation.

More or Less are just synonyms for Better and Worse. Better makes us blind and numb to what we have, those joys we already feel; introduce worse & we no longer need Better to see these blessings.
Everyday we count things, we count everything except for the things that count, lack of appreciation deprives us from making the days count, & then we wish we could have them back once begin stressing.

We always want more of anything pleasureful we recieve when it's really appreciation that should be given and received with repititon.

Life is a gift but More or Less makes us mortal, makes us ungrateful, & turns life into a competition.

The day we cease to appreciate our lives because we fall victim to the perception of More we start to live less and less, before you know it you've died while you're still breathing.

Ultimately we need pain. It teaches us to appreciate & ignore the more, we must hurt before we benefit it's like a baby teething.

**If you're alive, you're blessed, more or less.

My phone memory is exhausted, the database is so full yet it's so empty.
Maturity turns more to less & loneliness stems from plenty.
You'll count up to two, eight, fourteen, twenty.
Then you look up to a crowded room of meaningless people & see no one, lord where have you sent me?
A path of numerals is not a pleasant walk.
All these texts, all these calls & conversations but lack of substance equates deafness, I can no longer hear them talk.
Gosh, I can't erase this chalk.
How I wish to throw water on my blackboard and fast forward, I must repel & balk.

I've been focused on my distant light the last 14 months, I feel like I'm living in a telescope.

Unprecedented sacrifices, committed to living with my mother until I never have to tell her nope.

My great grandmother is 89, we saw her today they think she's leaving soon.

I couldn't catch my breathe to tell her that her prayers blocking my demons gave me breathing room.

Not sure why we assume we have the whole clock to air it out.

I'm pressing my lungs everyday until the air is out.

She had my grandmother and uncle in a one bedroom shack, three mouths to feed.

Has me ashamed of the things in my life I was ever foolish enough to call a need.

My eyes are wide open so I listen to less of my peers, I have a distant ear.

Playing who wants to be a millionaire but my lifelines are starting to disappear.

I'm a product of generations of sacrifices, my destiny is the heights my lineage will soon taste.

We couldn't rob Peter to pay Paul, in my family they were usually roommates.

Killed my ignorance with books, in my office it can lie buried.

A plan for the risk is the difference between divorce and staying married.

Life challenges brought me to my knees then I rose to stability on one.

Proposed to my dreams hoping the lord says yes once I’m done.

The only measure of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life.

One must know what to want in the first place, what’s worth what price?

The food for thought used to take several trips, It felt like a full plate.

Now It takes half of the fridge to maintain like I gained a roommate.

However, I live mostly in my head alone.

Such a crowded home.