I see your call for help
I see your cry for assistance.
& unlike your past friends
I promise not to miss it.
I see your tears fall into the seas
I hear you cry and beg please.
I see sharks surround you
Through your heart, out your soul bleeds.
I will offer the last of my will.
Give the last of my strength, anything I can do.
I'll save you & say goodbye.
& when you open your eyes to my memory you'll know you always came before anything else because I was drowning too.

As Porfiry sipped from the brightly blue drink she’d bought him, words did not rush from his lips in their usual manner.

“You’re so… , I mean ha , your eyes, they’re umm, haha pardon me” he rushed for his straw once more, beginning to believe he’d lost the ability to flatter.

Across from him, behind eyes that glowed of malachite, a smile radiating joy, and bangs hinting feigned innocence, was a girl not of his type.

Yet, here he sat, a journalist lost for words. No longer simply unable to speak but beginning to feel as if he could no longer read or write.

Floral scents from her aroma seemed to invade his space, shimmer down his spine, and follow him back to his flat.

Staring at the ceiling in the black of night, he challenged his desires, why did an outlier fill him with butterflies such as that.

The next two dawns roaming through town, he felt chills as the sight of bangs harassed him. All the traffic lights were emerald and the world looked new.

Twenty four hours later, Porfiry learned he had the flu.

Tik, Tik, Tok, two hands circle around the consciousness of mortals.

Then there comes a day when a life of exploration becomes all timelines, the clock begins to chortle.

This is a devious laugh, as yet another victory for the clock is near.

The ultimate sign of a deceived mind is a mind that can’t spend extended time, here.

Reminisces of the past, a maddening rush to future modern goals, the clock is in control.

Anxiety, depression, the most common symptoms of missed or far away goals.

I fear most crimes go unpunished, kids fail to report the imaginations their adult selves stole.

Tik, Tik, The mortgage makes one still, a failed marriage makes one cold.

Still yet, your race here is finished! You cheer as the “Tok Tok Tok” bursts from the clock laughing!

None of the youths stopped to asked, “why are the adults with so much, not much happy?”

Cloaked beneath every great person are robust friendships, until you’re rich the world ignores you.

When you’re being suffocated by doubt’s grip, they restore you.

It’s as if they had a lifeboat off of the Titanic, forgot you on board, and came back.

To my best friends, here your roses come, Jack.

The ones who sat in horse and carriage deserve to fly next to thee.

The hard part is over now, and I owe the will to keep going to the best of me.  

So if not for you, for your friends, the ones who only ask for an inch when you have a mile.

Nobody deserves to share your dream with you more than someone who just wanted to see you smile.

We're all born with dreams, with gifts, and passionate hearts.
& just like Bella we all often imagine a rice covered path to the finish line right from the start.
Some choose to lay their hearts open but Bella, she chose to lock it.
Some of us are born on rainy days destined to see grey clouds, some to stare at celestial sunsets; you're either born staring at a broken mirror or with a clover in your pocket.
She fell, stumbled, she couldn't control it.
The locks she had in place served no purpose, he charmingly broke in picking through her fearful security with warmth and stole it.
Sometimes burglars can be intruders that you want inside because being locked up alone is no life at all.
Life seises from being short when you're loved by someone, you don't feel time at all.
Well, actually, maybe you feel it all at once the day you stare into their aged eyes at a youthful fire, but you never hear the clock tick.
A life in love is truly a roller coaster, feels like an eternity to get there but once you fall, the thrill, the rush, flashes by oh so quick.
Poor Bella. She wasn't a believer in such a ride until she woke up a top that hill.
Realizing she was ready to dive, to fall and scream. Heart racing, palms sweating, she realized his deepest dreams had become her priority will.
Sadly, something happened as she stepped into that cart.
He had no interest in sitting next to her, he was on his own climb to an enchanting fall & he walked away crumbling her already fearful heart.
Bella wasn't born with the clover, she was born during the storm, born staring into the mirror and trying to ignore the hurtful cracks.
Be grateful if you're born with that clover because you're lucky & you have a chance. & if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet the person you love decides to love you back.

The first time I saw you I knew my angel was borrowed.
Could you come back tomorrow?
I'm strong, but when my light's off and I'm sleepy.
These songs, your pictures continue to eat me.
Your voice drowns out the thunder.
My childhood was hell yet you make me wish I was younger.  
Weekends I lay & think.
You go out and drink.
Am I the one on your mind when you can't control it?
You lose things when you're drunk, give me your heart, let me hold it.
You are everything I pray for.
I re-read your texts until it feels like you say more.
Since April I adored you.
I fell knowing you couldn't afford to.
I don't hear from you but I hear you.
I close my eyes and dream I'm near you.
I'm standing in the rear view.
Not knowing what happens in year two.
The future will always be a mystery.
In the end I just hope I'm Mr. He

Have you ever seen a plate so empty it was full? Full of disappointment, full or worry, despair & seemingly adding to your tormenting hunger.
As I stare at a full plate of food, the first Sunday dinner since I've gotten home from Bama I think, I reflect, and I wonder.
I wonder how we arrived here, or rather why because I know what had to happen and what has taken place for my family to receive.
I continue to think & eat and before my stomach can even reach its satisfaction I leave the table to write, to let you guys know to be discreet of a soul with a full plate who has never had to bleed.
J.Cole said "there's beauty in the struggle" and if you didn't dissect that on your own the beauty he speaks of is the instruction of values.
There are some things words simply can not show, there are joys & pains script can not display; struggle, disparity, and crucible are the only entities that can instill this consciousness inside you.
You can not truly appreciate crossing the finish line in front of the entire field until you have felt the embarrassment, the scathing burn of watching your competitors flock away from you like Geese in October
If you have never drove a 94' Honda Accord with "out of order" AC & lack of audio then the Luxury vehicle that is so greatly cherished seises to be luxury, it's just a car, you don't even see it as a Range Rover.
I even noticed in myself that I had become immune to the beauty and purity of my past lovers. I began to forget how blessed I was to have the present because the past was equally as elegant.
If you give the people a great commander in chief & then a second, and then a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, by the seventh time around they won't appreciate a good president.
Beware the soul that has a a full plate that never had to bleed because they do not value anyone else's plate. A rich man born rich does not value having a spare fish for the hands of the poor.
Truly how could they? They don't know that excruciating hunger, they've never felt agonizing winters sharp as forest mulch splinters, poverty so bad you feel worthless like unbearable guilt dancing in your core.
If you've used an elevator your entire existence how could you relate to the fatigue I feel from taking the steps. Taking the necessary steps to hunt, clean, and prepare the same meal that was simply delivered to you.
If you were blessed to be born into a stocked kitchen you're not to blame & I have no quarrel with your life. Just understand there are struggles you will never entirely comprehend & I just ask that you never pretend to understand what the people clawing at the bottom have to go through.

"Full stomach || Empty Heart" -Dash Pinder

There is no courage without vulnerability, that strong probability of failing or getting hurt.

Why do people pursue certainty in their lives? Going through life finding comfort in spoiler alerts.

Why buy tickets to a horror movie where the fear is spilled in the commercial?

Will your life be an example of abstract expressionism or a familiar rehearsal?

Without uncertainty what's the point? I want to wonder what I'll see and guess on the source of the sound.

I leap for the feeling in the air, not for promise of landing back on the ground.

I lay, in beds made for me by the Lord
I pray, when all the dreams are gone & the ship has sailed all my friends are on board.
I go, to graveyards & feel alive rather than sad.
I know, I'm living because God has my Dad.
White girls, fall in Love with my black soul.
The world, previously falsely convinced her my skin was cold.
A lie, it's burning as I put on vivid displays of word play.
I buy, a switch blade with a little switch to switch blades and switch from a six to a sixteen inch blade.
The best poet alive killed himself today.

Now I'm not the one for the past but when these lines rush back downhill, you can't run.

The first time you're in California you remember three things, the ocean, the person, and the faint sun.

When we crash land on our pillows we can only puff up our feathers hoping to mate again like the doves do.

Even though it won't be my hand, I hope you find somebody that loves you.

That smile should be there even if I can't see it.

Less disappointed in the down more disappointed I couldn't knee it.

Breakups are the only time a goodbye shouldn't mean see you later.

I'm healed, you just taught me tears and thoughts leave beautiful marks on paper.

In case you may need it, Good luck young woman

we really, we really had something.

For a piece of me, is a peace of mind.

When luck is what you find.

I hope you’ll add a P sometimes.

People always say "Remember when we were kids..." And that's when I always space out, turn my attention to something else & avoid those memories.
Every time I look back to my childhood & my younger days ,I see some child that made my life worse than theirs, made my cuts deeper & now they're an adult trying to befriend me.
My Parents worked hard to put nutrients in my flesh, faith in my soul, & hope in my spirit rather than material on my skin.
Due to my absence of expensive earthly things they were brainwashed to cherish they treated me as if I had different feelings, different joys, different emotions within.
I remember I would hate being early to school because that was free time for privileged kids, free time for them to talk about my free things. My hand me downs and cheap garments from the flee store.
I'm a God loving Christian, and I don't look down on anyone I just think it's ironic how I turned out to be more.
Or is it ironic at all, I think not, karma is God's general and what you put out is what you will receive in the world.
You put out pain you get pain, spread Love and you get love, if you pass on a Cinnabon you can be sure as hell one day at your door there it is, back in full circle, a cinnamon Swirl.
So today as i look back on those kids that put a microscope on my un-athletic abilities, worn down clothing, and lack of attractiveness, I wish them well & greet them with smiles.
They've grown up to be with other kids that saw only the cover of someone and not the person, they've started families with two parents who don't understand the true value of a spirit & I just pray that characteristic isn't passed on to that beautiful child.

"Grateful Pain" -Dash Pinder

Father I Love you dearly with all my heart.

Its like I can never stop, everyday is another mistake, another imperfection. Another start.

Forgive me Again.

Hallucinogens ingested to my flesh for reasons I couldn't name & the higher I become the further I feel away from you.

Meaningless flings are selected for evenings one in the same & I dive into eternal fires for pleasures only to hope you'll bring me through.

Forgive me Again.

I couldn't tell you why I make these mistakes but the ones with the heaviest burdens are the ones that bring harm to another temple other than my own.

But then again it is not mines to own. I am yours, & she is yours, they are yours, & I know there's no way to retrieve that pain from the mind of your child once she's hurt and gone.

Forgive me Again.

I don’t take any of It for granted, not one minute.
Not even the days It seemed like the food came w/roaches in It.
I just got this, how is It already bad?
We put things down & forget what we had.
Don’t let It go over your head.
But if it’s not supposed to why do they call It under stand?
Glass half full. Lemons to lemonade. At least I’m not at the back of the line.
Never noticed those who turned their back because I was behind them the whole time.
If no one ever broke It, we’d hand It over wrapped with a ribbon.
Just to say thanks for giving.
& when my head doesn’t work, thanks for forgiving.
The days we wish we weren’t here, love feels like thanks for living.

I have some things I just can't get off my chest. There's no one to listen & you don't feel relief If you vent to the deaf.
I looked in my heart & there just isn't anything left.
Xanax covered in everclear closed my eyes then saw my own death.
Is this a puzzle? Is this a test?
Not sure but me losing this fight pretty soon is a good guess.

Please don’t reach out me.

Think watching too much Dalio got to me.

Trading too ease,

I’m plucking them out by the threes.

Don’t need a vacation to decide to be on a beach.

Fly my mom to Africa she just pick the week.

Changing my number a need, made an exec 100% now he text me everyday like a fiend.

I just figure It out as I go so I’m still learning.
On days where I feel I’ve come the furthest I can still feel my ears burning.
Do clocks ever tick in reverse?
Even if they do, I’m not sure we’re meant to avoid the hurt.
We pray for peace but grow so much in the back & forth.
It’s disappointing to hear stories read where we play the role of Voldemort.
But these days I’ve stopped responding, I grow so much more when I just listen.
When you look in the crowd I’ll be standing & cheering when you’re winning.
Just go easy on me.
When you be speaking on me.

I feel like spring, I feel like that's my life's reason.

You know? Like how they say some people are only in your life for the time being?

I'm a season, I'm clarification for what ever they aren't seeing.

Everybody hates winter but once they've made it to summer they forget to appreciate spring.

Is no one  seeing the irony that a self help industry is something a mass of people consult?

My dark statement is my attempt to shed light, nothing can promise or predict results.

Unfortunately, we don’t know to what degree we have free will but there is little these books will free.

True discovery and growth comes from reality, from a feedback loop epiphany.

Furthermore, to change one line in a code will not change an algorithm.

Someone who is not willing to transform their life, will not transform irrespective of how many books you give them.

last year, I read 200 books to find a myriad of people saying the same stuff.

In the end there’s those looking to skip steps, and those profiting off of selling or posting such fluff.

Explore ideas rather than steps, clear your mind, shift habits drastically, then wait.

All of these books are the best sellers, if everyone is reading the same books who separates?

Hey Sir, I'm your new son.
I'm so proud to hold her hand she's my backbone.
She's what all my chips are stacked on.
"Why are you on my steps son.?"
Hey Sir, think of me as a stepson, her heart, your trust, my gift, all things I'd never step on.
Hey Sir, I'm that fella.
I promise to take my time with her, my lights on yella.
Strength Umbrella, the days she needs to cry I promise I'll let her.
Hey Sir, if you let her make me better I promise whether it's its sunny or stormy weather she'll always be safe for as long as we're together.
A blessing is a gift, a gift is a blessing, & a blessing can be made into a gift.
She's your greatest blessing & it was gift from him, he gave you his.

There was a hole in my heart I tried to fill with you, we were nothing at all.

There’s a reason the elephant is more at risk than the cockroach, It’s hard to **** something that small.

Even now, it’s challenging to write these things but let me provide clarification.

Not due to emotional blur or significance, but that I lack my usual inspiration.

The words typically pour out of my hands, however this is my attempt to put nothingness into text.

When I look back on my life, I don’t like to have them, but you are my only regret.

I know I can’t make my bed, lie in It, and then complain about not getting sleep.

You were a manifestation of my habit to make things worse, but I didn’t think I could dig a grave so deep.

It’s a strange thing, you chose to see castles in the clouds, and ignore the impairment by the fog.

I ate until I became husky myself, a coping mechanism for listening to you tell me I don’t like dogs.

That’s silly. It was right in your face, even this, is less about you & more about her.

Apologies you had to come after.

Emotions are like children.
If you keep them prisoner inside, They will find their own way out.
You can ground them but they'll sneak out.
Or you'll keep them inside so long they'll grow so old that you have no choice but to watch them leave the nest unprepared for the world.
So, might as well let them be free.

looking for revenge.
Seems revenge found me.
All this punishment I gave out.
Then something came to ground me.
an eye for an eye leaves an even picture.
On one side cuts the other side stabs.
In life we're waiters and customers.
Give out the order and you'll pay the tab.

Sometimes the lights are bright even when they seem dim.
Bella killed herself & they gave speeches saying "pay attention to people and how you treat them."
She was perfectly happy, she just loved God so much she couldn't wait to meet him.
In life the dust pan doesn't always empty out exactly what you sweep in.

Why is it the people who talk like It all comes so easy, don’t have much? Can’t teach anything we can use?

Socializing above a threshold becomes potential abuse.

Not the chance of harm, but the destruction of our capacity.

Everyone who changed the world, imagined a different world, the direct opposite of actually.

Actually, what they call It is reality. They say “be realistic.”

Truth is they’ve lost their imagination and their negativity is how they mourn and miss It.

I have a friend who imagined the Olympics and now he’s lord of the rings.

I’m drowning in a world where Wizards are born, engulfed in the magic it brings.

You can do It, you can have It, you can get there, please believe me.

As long you know the price, It doesn’t all come so easy.

When you have an infinite pool of memories some may not be as clear as others but my first sight of her is as clear as aquarium windows
She had eyes that shined like a varsity star on JV, a smile that made me feel innocent, a laugh that sang to the inner child I hid from my coworkers and skin that i somehow just knew was as soft as Jehovah's pillows.
High School was my empire, my company, I was the head of the board, the CEO & looking at her made me weak, extremely weak, as if I was a college grad in my first interview, a warm gummy worm under a steak knife.
A villainous & crooked CEO I offered false dreams, led interns to believe they could earn a permanent position at my side, with really no true intention to keep them around past a short term, ironically one intern would change my life.
Although this is probably known, I have never spoken it out loud. My intentions were utterly negative, to lust and vacate, ignore her grief, & later ask for her friendship as if I had forgotten my deceptive ways.
Upon her accepting the pain I offered disguised as a fairytale romance hidden behind a friendly smile and a fleecy touch I couldn't help but think "I win again" unknowingly welcoming with open arms a loss I would feel for the rest of my days.
The losses that are complete losses are not the ones to fear. Beware the losses that taught you something, the losses that made you better, the losses that are treasures for the next person to cherish.
Can I even consider it a loss lord? Is to lose a blessing a loss or is to have had the blessing even with having to part ways with it a victory in itself? It's this question, this thought that would lead my peace, my morals, my sanity to perish.
A young girl came into my bureau & completely shook the foundation, transformed my rules and morals, flooded a chilled and dreary workplace with unquestionable love, kindness, and innocence.
The most beautiful things in life can't be bothered without retaliation, **** the most gorgeous tree and Mother Nature will scorn you, corrupt a lionizing sky with dark clouds and there's no way to escape the consequence.
Make no mistake she was & still is to this stay one of earths greatest sights, An antibiotic to infected eyes, fruit for the soul, and a nutrient i would inquest and crave for everyday.
Never had I met an intern so full of life, i set out a task she would achieve, achieve, achieve. My effort she matched, my spirit and Enthusiasm she surpassed, anything i put forward she quickly matched like a celestial 401k.
It's not everyday the Boss learns from the intern & the experience was nothing short of an epiphany. Her paralyzing deep chestnut graze taught me to look deeper than just what the eyes revealed.
Her heart was as pure as ****** from the furthest regions of East Asian jungles, a heart so pure it purified and cleansed the heinous of mines, an affection so real.
The most alarming motivators in life are Love & Pain. We are willing to Die for what we Love & circumvent the pains we fear at all cost, until what you love is the source of the pain & we end up so confused by excruciating emotion we are willing to die for pain and avoid the love.
In her absence that's precisely what I did. I played hide & seek with the idea of Love & searched for pain, My soul would seek cuts, my heart craved anguish, anything that periodically felt worse than the regret of that game winning catch I let slip out of my glove.
Needless to say she taught me to appreciate everyone in this Company I called My life, that an intern can impact your empire just as much as a chief financial officer, just as much as your successor that is your pride and joy, your only kid.
We wish to believe we are in control of our lives but are we really? Are you in control if one mortal being can change the direction entirely? All that is certain is that we should love and appreciate however we can. Open your arms, open your heart, and most importantly open your eyes, put a microscope on your life, it's usually the things we subconsciously write off as minor and small that turn out to be so big.

"Imani's Internship" -Dash Pinder

God told me that I had to change.
I promised them I would stay the same & I didn't.
It used to be Love now to my name they send spit.
I Apologize but I'm no longer that negative person you were such good friends with.

The most contagious substance in life is an idea, true inspiration is rare to find.

Whereas a bacteria bites on the body, an idea munches on the mind.

An idea collides with your soul, invades your flesh and spreads about like a **** of lice.

Inception is a sickness, my diagnosis changed my life.

It’s not that I overlook mirrors, Yet I’ve become unrecognizable from thoughts consuming me.

Everyday It’s there, that maybe, just maybe, I could be free.

What if what you feared was always here?
Pain must be felt once it's there.
Where will you run to if there's only one where?
We try so heavily to avoid the inevitable because we're scared.
To embrace is to defeat, to conquer and adhere.
The cure to death is to live, the cure to hurt is to feel, to trust like the cuts were never there.
I know the pain & the failure, can make ****** minutes & depressing seconds feel like years.
We must stop hiding & open our vision to a world where we're encased in our fears.
I shall walk by Faith and not by sight with Belief in my tears and hope in my ears.
We are awake when everyday we see our fears.
I see hell everywhere.

Caution, not perfection. Caring, considerate, there's so much kindness we're meant to live out.
Imagine if we had to feel all the pain we give out.