Am I two?
Am I one?
At both of my hands, I stare
With both of my eyes
I walk with both of my feet
I think with more than a brain
Burst!
Brain
Melt!
Crack my head open
Leave me here and go there
Evaporate into the atmosphere
Burn me to the ground
Let me turn to ashes
Let me be part of the wind
I could merge in between billion different
particules
If I concentrated hard enough
You, me, Jelly matter, would concentrate too
I would freeze, I would forget, I would turn crazier than my crazy sanity
It's a spiral, a never ending circle,
It goes on and on
There is no gravity
In what I've become
No steadiness
No platform
Nothing to hold on to
Everything is abstract
I'm floating in a world of black bubbles
Or maybe the bubbles are transparent
My dark, scary world
Soft, foam, everything dissipates to the touch, to a glare
A single deep breath intake, inhale the whole world, bare
Too much of me in me
Less of me outside of me
Raw vocal cord, sore gut
A belly button, turning, dancing
Crafting it's way through shapeless bones
To where?
Where from?
Where to?

I watch them wheel on down the hall
then come back up,
prepared to fall
back into the daily grind.....
God I wish that they could find

Some way out
or some way in.
Some way to get back home again.

Wilma sits there by the door.
She's waiting
as she's done before
so many times, so many days
and there are just a few small ways

that I can help
to give her hope,
or simply find a way to cope.

Ellen calls me by my name.
Which makes no sense
for it's the same.
Every afternoon at three,
I'm not who I seem to be.

I wish I were.
For maybe then
I could bring them home again.

A baby is born with a trouble or two,
what you feel in the womb really happens to you.
But matters are worse when you finally arrive,
baby, sweet baby, how will you survive?

At least on the inside you kept yourself warm,
but now on the outside you will feel the storm.
At least on the inside the drugs kept you high,
but now on the outside you've reason to cry.

A baby is born through no fault of his own,
decisions made for him from someone full grown.
Selfish and needy she thought not of him,
he arrives with no more then to sink or to swim.

And how do you swim when you can't even walk?
How do you ask when you can't even talk?
A baby is born and he suffers each day,
just so his mother could have her own way.

The future,
A thing that once was so
distant and unknown,
Is now almost crystal,
And the people I thought
I'd spend forever with,
Are nowhere to be found.