My heart is not one half of a whole
I am whole on my own
I do not need anyone to complete me

But my heart does have one lonely hand
Looking for another to hold
And it will continue to look
Until it finds one that fits

Perfectly

I’m going to write while my feelings are still raw

They’re the only thing in my world right now

They’re in my head
All over my body
They are my sheets
The paint on my walls

They’re everywhere

Its clear there’s no getting away
I’m not even going to try
So how about I face them?
Instead of sit here and cry

Let’s talk about this sadness
Oh my, you couldn’t imagine

I was so caught up in you

In your smile
And your laugh
The way your hair curls
And did I mention that smile
Oh my god that smile

I was so in love with you
With the way you spoke and the words you said

Never have I met a more caring person
It’s so natural for you, so genuine

****

I just wanted you to care about me

I just wanted you to be happy
With me

I wanted you to be as in love as I was

I wanted you to need me

But that’s something I can’t force upon you
And I won’t try

It just hurts so badly right now
Sick to my stomach, lump in my throat
That kind of hurt

My body aches for my first love
It aches for your lips and your embrace
And it aches even more knowing it can’t have it

Just tell me you love me

No wait

Don’t
Please don’t

I don’t want you to have to lie
I don’t want you to have to pretend anymore

And I may sound bitter
But that isn’t it at all
I’m oddly happy

Let’s talk about this happiness
Because I’m really not sure why it’s here
Although I’m glad it is

I’m glad you finally got that off your chest
Even though it put more onto mine

You deserve so much more
Than settling for someone like me

I want nothing but the best for you
I’m not the best

I’ve caused you a lot of frustration
I know
And I don’t want you to feel that anymore

I want pure happiness for you

Find it

Please
Please find it

Find it and make this whole thing worth it

Love is for the poor,
and money for the rich
but wisdom is reserved
for those who caught the itch
of curiosity for the fact that they exist.


Those sparse few who dare
to put their faith into people
but expect not to see the eyes of god
inside of another man’s cathedral.
Knowing well that these lies and laws
could never guide us past the flaws
of good and evil.


Only believe in the dreamer
who refuses the role of a follower
and shuns the idea of a leader.
Be not deceived by status or acclaim
because it only makes you a disciple
of a product and a name.


Hold in high regard the tired hikers
born to the depths of the deepest valleys
and yet they rise before the light of dawn
like a striker to set ablaze the malaise
of these pedestrian days
that mock our souls
with monotonous toil.


This life is but an eternal recurrence
therefore every morn we are born anew
and that potential is a shot at transference
into something more eminent than you.
Become the bridge my friend
because there is no future
in being an end.

Her two lips wrapped around
                                   my tongue
                                   perfectly tender
                                   her succulent juices      
                                   deliciously surrendered                            
                                    to a delicate embrace
                                   that made our hearts quiver

Ain't it strange how
The things we need so much
Become the things that hurt us most

Truth is not the truth
If I do not believe it
And a lie is not a lie
If I do not perceive it

Honor is not honor
If I do not achieve it
And loss is not a loss
If I do not grieve it

Love is not love
If I do not receive it
And life is not a life
If I wish to leave it
BOEMS BY JA 490