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I want to erase that ugly line.
It’s not seen but it’s there
Between you and me
Day and night
Deep down
Eating
Thru
Us!
You
And I
Created
And allowed
That line to grow
And build between us
A rift that makes us enemies
Drifting away as two islands!
 Jun 2019 Pagan Paul
FreeMind
At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind
#19
 Jun 2019 Pagan Paul
victoria
*** cheeks

Sometimes I see my life slide away and get stuck
Like the hair that slides down your back in the shower and gets stuck between your *** cheeks

But I love to pull that hair out and toss into the bin
So time and time again I pull the hairy bits of my life out of the cheeks of this world
And toss them into lord knows where....
But at least they’re away from me!
Over sharing???
 Jun 2019 Pagan Paul
Born
. . .
 Jun 2019 Pagan Paul
Born
Sometimes my thoughts exhaust me
Thinking, can be Crippling
Alwys analyzing different veriation of a possible outcome

Trying to figure out logic
In words spoken
Words thought

Trying to understand
The meaning of reason
Behind a speck
of an idea
Or sometimes a wish not processed

All this in the name of sanity
While deciphering the insanity
In the sanity we enjoy

Sometimes I feel like a memory
Of a person
like I have been lived before
Broken before
Devoured and scattered
In all corners of the Earth
Like am a voyager with a broken compass

Sometimes I feel like am too small
the world is too big
and I, an insignificant being
no relevance to anything that matter

Sometimes I feel like
I should go out and scream
Let go of this attachment called being  human
Cry a little
And die a little
Embrace pain and love
Embrace death and hope
Embrace belief and hate
Embrace nothing and something
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