Sometimes, happiness isn't found within us.
It's the slow music flowing through the air
Or the smell of tea when the morning came.

Sometimes, happiness isn't found within us.
It comes as our loved ones laugh
Or the delight expression of an old friend.

Sometimes, happiness isn't found within us.
It sparks as we send a gift to those in need
Or when we make jokes that sound pretty old to our ears.

Sometimes, happiness isn't found within us.
It's the smile of others
When we appear before their doorstep
Or the warm hugs they give
And the soft whispers they make.

it hurt too much to bear

i feel for a blade
hidden in a trusted place

i felt it on my wrist
cold and sharp
thirsty

i feel my tongue under my fingertips
as i went deeper
purging

i felt both my hands
knuckles deep in my hair
pulling

then i felt nothing

nothing but a stinging wrist
a burning throat
and a sore scalp

but at least my soul was numb

for now.