I ask myself again and again
“Should I be so scared of life?”
“Is it normal to feel this pain?”
“Should I take the knife?”

You left me broken and alone
You didn’t even give me time to pack
You threw me out in the cold like stone
You didn’t even take a look back

And here I am, still thinking of you
I don’t even know why I keep you in my head
After everything we’ve been through
Instead, I should be looking ahead

So why? Why can’t I forget?
Forget the words, the way you think
Forget that we have ever met
Forget everything in just one blink

It’s easy,... only now and then
My heart still wants to live in past
It wants to be able to talk with you again
It wants to ask all questions that it never asked

And here I am, hating on my heart
Because I should know that you’re not worth it
But, I guess, I’m just not that smart
Even though I bet you don’t care a single bit

You’re not worth my tears, I know
But I still feel for you, I still cry
Maybe someday I will grow
And hopeFULLY then I’ll say “Goodbye”

How can I forget everything you made me feel?
How can I not miss every word you said to me?
How can I glue the pieces of my heart to make it heal?
How can I be happy, when you’re the one that made me be?

And now you’re nowhere
And I am here
And it’s not fair
That this will never reach your ear

Now you’re gone
So congratulations
I think you won
You broke our relations
      (Happy?)

In a run down bar
where the crowd would gather
Drinks were being poured
and the music was getting louder

you played your guitar
I watched from a distance
my soul wasn't far
my ears there to listen

You strummed those strings      
with such devotion
with powered chords
of deep emotion

with each music note
you spoke to my heart
i was falling in love
in this run down bar

Could you love me like the songs you played?
could I be your inspiration
loving me without hesitation

Could you love me with such passion
such devotion
for internity and endless compassion

I watched from a distance
in a run down bar
The boy i love 
playing his guitar

Guess I should've written it down
Long ago when it had entered my mind
It's  like all the ink bled right out
From the pen I've been ignoring for a while
Almost as if the words got tired of being tired
And walked away from this tunnel of a mind
They dutifully packed up their bags and left
Trudged on into the night
And try as I might now, to place that typewriter
The sounding of the keys sounds hollow
just like the clanging of fake jewellery maybe I've lost it, maybe I never had it
And finally has that realisation dawned
This is all just a rant anyway
I haven't slept properly in too **** long