the longing behind fingertips
reaching for hands
snatched away so quickly.
i forget their feeling so quickly
i forget your flinches so quickly.
and so it repeats.
can you feel the longing left
somewhere in the empty air?

I build homes in my heart;
with bedrooms, bathrooms. With kitchens and attics.
Winding staircases- gardens.
They beat in time with my blood
and with each pump, become a little larger.

I am the only resident.

The Agrophobic Architect; never invited elsewhere.
never to know another's heart-home.
never invited in.

So i built homes in my heart
and slowly
the foundations decided to b/r\e/a\k
apart.

but the tides change.

Sunlight's embrace through leaves
to caress cheeks and chin;
dancing on your features.

To a computer screen.
Reflected on glasses, with
tensed teeth and eyebrow.      unseeing.

The moon sits somewhere out of view. It does not intrude.

Sleep does not take me this night.
Hazy irises seek out your face in the gloom.
found in a bed an arms-reach-eternity-   away.

                                                          (i dont want to look away)

so i watch the sun through curtains. throwing greetings upon the wall.
to caress your eyes and hair.
the first blink of morning.
a smile.

in a savoury dream;
we'd of been together.

in a sweeter dream;
we'd of been forever.

but in this bitter reality
were we meant to sever?

i found myself
at 3am.
            He was not the same person
            as before.

**and I wonder if that's a loss or a gain.