Ooolywoo

Jun 2014

Louise

Outside I'm just a woman
inside, just a girl that is lost
.
I seem to have direction
but maybe it's a lie with a cost
.
Setting myself simple goals to follow
as I need a continuous plan
.
It's to tell me where I am tomorrow
incase I've forgotten where I am
.
I can easily fool myself
and it's been working for a while
.
I just don't think too much
about the woman wrapped around this girl
.
Does she really know what she's doing?
Do I have any other choice?
.
Although I'm a woman physically moving
the little girl has lost her voice

Written a few months ago when I really felt that I needed more direction in my life. It's a feeling that comes round again quite often.

Ooolywoo Jun 2014

My journey

My life is so crystal clear that I am afraid it might be just a dream
My path so bright and beamy
No hollow
No shallow
The wind is kissing my every part
The sun is my destination
So shiny and brilliant always keeping me warm
I have never seen so many opened doors in front of me
As I pass through my dreams, I see for the first time its soft and sweet countenance beautiful as a child's heart
I have been drifted away from them
But the river flows me back to them
My feet are barely touching the ground as I begin to lift off
Hanging on a butterfly
My journey begins

#hope #faith #dreams #journey

Jun 2014

Louise

The Writing on the Wall

□□□□□□

Written on these walls
that constantly surround me
are words of pain and hurt
that never seem to leave
□
Tiny steps taken forward
that sometimes feel like leaps
yet I'm so quickly halted,
quietened, I stare at my feet
□
A mind that feels battered
like an exhausted, pathetic space
A heart distorted and wounded
and each time it's etched on my face
□
I feel so sure at times
that the past will no longer invade
thinking each time I'll be prepared
for another battle that's there to face
□
Still it feels like a cruel blow
that dulls and slows my senses
catching me off guard
before I can raise all defences
□
Each time I am learning
how to heal my wounds that bleed
I have a choice, I realise
and return more swiftly to my feet
□
I cannot let them hinder me
refuse to waste tears or time
through this life I'll just keep on walking
drawing on my strength that's deep inside

□□□

I wrote this a while ago and it has made me realise how much better I am coping at dealing with the things life throws at me.
: )

Jun 2014

Louise

the words ......

¤¤
Take the precious pen
and tuck it safely away
the words are not here
the ink will not speak today
○
Straighten the stark parchment
and push it to one side
the words will not appear
they remain hidden somewhere inside
○
Push my dutiful desk
far away from the window
the words do not need a place
when there are none to show
○
Store away my chair
make use of it elsewhere
the words have disappeared
and I have none left to share
○
Take me from this room
a quiet place no longer in need
the words are now so still
perhaps it is I they'll no longer feed
¤

I wrote this a while ago and fortunately I am not without words, for now anyway.

Ooolywoo Jun 2014

Depression

It has found me again !
Here it is right in front of me,
Smiling ironicly at me,
Snuggling up to me and won’t let go !
Telling me how much he missed me
How much he missed my mood and my attitude.
My longtime friend !
I don’t even know if I should objectify « It » or personify « him »
I though we will never see each other again
I though I won’t have to deal with him again
People often say you can’t control things that are out of your reach
You don’t have any power on certain things
I have defeated him once. Am I able to do it again this time ?
Am I weak or am I just giving up ?
Letting him invade me !
Invade my space, my privacy, my inner peace and my mood !
Do I have the strength to be in a perpetual figth with It !
I want to chase him for good
Get him out of my mind and out of my soul
Bury him deep in a place unknown,
Where the lost souls wander around and never return
Somewhere he cant never escape from
Go away ****** Depression !
Go bother someone else in some place else !
I have let down my guards for a while
But that does not mean the old me has return
I am stronger than you think
I have come to tolerate my old self !
Forgiving her and accepting her mistakes
When it comes to you, there is no room for forgiveness and pity
I have come to thrive all of my old demons !
You will not be the exception ! You will not be the black sheep !
You really love to see me suffer and shut myself out from what is around
Those days are long gone and you will be the very next
Goodbye Depression, I really did not and will never miss you.

Ooolywoo Jun 2014

Flat

My life is so dull like a wide flat floor receiving all the step than it can bear
No motion no flow, everything is quiet
Just like a silent night, nothing beats

There is no wave in my ocean
Nothing is moving
Sometimes I wonder if my train is on track
If my wind is blowing
If my waves are floating
There is a mask of clouds in my sky

Where am I heading at? What is this place?
My mind is traped in a deep dark hole
Walking towards the unknown, fear is my only companion
I am running like a breathless runner
Trying to find a way out of this cold world

I wish things were crystal clear
I wish I could figure things out and see clearly through these shades before my eyes

I want to feel my feet on the ground
I want to hear my step as I walk through the gate
The gate of glory and happiness wide open in front of me
Waiting only for me to pass

I am a beginner who wants to express my feelings through this. It is actually my second "poem"

#depression #life #lost #hopeless #despair #struggling

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