These 4 walls
Have no windows or doors
Yet I pound and I pound
With hope


Of escaping

in 5 years
i could’ve grown
a forest
if i planted
a tree
every time you lied
to me,

but i never
knew you were
lying
until it was
too late
to even
tend soil.

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

If you can read
I am an open book
-  full of gibberish
but If you have
The Cipher of love
You can decrypt it,
unlock it's secrets
and explore my World

pain is your friend
it's your ally
it tells you when you've been
seriously wounded
and you know
what the best thing about pain is?
it tells you
you're not dead yet