I'll never know why you did what you did.

The church bells toll twelve
And it's time for me to sleep...but do I?
As soon as I lay my head on my pillow...
My mind sits in the Past express
And moves from one station to the other
Suprisingly... the train travels back...instead of going ahead.
I reach stations that were left behind
Stations...I never wanted to reach.

There's this Pain...that lives beneath my heart
And it eats it up like a termite...every night
I can't define it...I don't know
This sinking feeling is normal
As I lost my peace years ago...
But it meets me secretly on stormy afternoons
And I feel overwhelmed...

But after all this...I still wonder
When will I sleep?
Sleep with dreams in my eyes
And Pain gone away.

It was an idle evening
And I was sitting in the lap of Past
Resting my head on her chest
As she slightly moved her hands through my hair.

I told her about....when I painted
With colours and brushes....a colourful world of mine
When canvas and sheets were drenched with bright colours
Bright colours like red, yellow, green, orange and so on.

But now...I can't even recognize them
They are lost in some dusty drawers
Somewhere I can't even remember
Now I live in a world of black and white
White pages drenched with black ink...

Did I lose my bright colours?
Or am I just homing in this black and white world of mine?