The nights are the hardest.
Not because of the dark,
but because of the loneliness.
That heavy silence
that reminds you
you only have yourself.
No one is coming to knock,
to ask how you’ve been,
to remind you you’re not alone.
What good is self-love
when it can’t pull you from the edge of your thoughts,
when it can’t wrap its arms around your chest
and tell you it’s okay to feel like this?
What good is it
when it just sits there quietly
while the loneliness hums louder?
What good is it
when it can’t make you feel less alone?
I don’t know how to fix it.
Some nights,
I have no thoughts
just the ache,
just the weight.
So I imagine.
I imagine a version of myself
who doesn’t feel this way.
I try to believe I can become them.
Some nights,
I just hold my own hand
because it’s the only one reaching.
Some nights,
I tell myself to breathe
and trust that it counts for something.
The truth is,
it hurts to need yourself
more than anyone else.
And lonelier still
when even that doesn’t soothe you.
But maybe,
somewhere beneath the ache,
this is what strength looks like:
to sit in the dark
and still choose to stay.
Even when it’s hard.
Especially then.