the truth is no one ever taught me how to fix a flat tire or how to ask for help or what love was even good for in the first place

and the truth is that the cookie was good but the lemon icing wasn't and the truth is baking should be done without any kind of lemon at all

and the truth is i wish you'd hold me close enough that our skin fused together and i could burrow into your spine and learn all the things you won't teach me

and the truth is you were never good at making eye contact but i dare you to look at me long enough that i can trace the line that connects your iris to your pupil and count how many shades of black a person can produce

and the truth is i don't know if the grass has fingerprints but i know that yours are cigarette stained and no better at letting go than mine

and the truth is i am a dump site and you are an inhale and i am clockwork and you are a melody and i can't keep my teeth off your eloquence

and the truth is my feet are covered in acrylic paint from leaving smudged footprints in sparkly things

and the truth is i don't want you all to myself but you can pretend i'm yours when i'm engulfed in the ocean and making it hard for you to breathe

and the truth is i'm looking for a different kind of intimacy from you

and maybe it's just some teenage girl talking but the truth is that i want to drown with you. i want to burn with you. i want to scream with you so violently that the body that crushes my lungs crumbles and i become a balloon for real this time

and the truth is, if you hadn't called me beautiful, i would have mistaken last night for a paradise i don't believe in

Sono te o watashi e to
Azukete; me o tojite
Mabuta ni kuchizukete
Itami o iyashimashou
Nemurinasai, yukkuri to
Ushinau kowasa wa dare mo onaji
Kanashimi, mayoi mo tsutsumikomu
Chikarazuyosa kanjitai
Arasou munashisa subete no hito
Kizukeba kagayaku hi wa noboru
Sono toki made inoru kara
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Give your hand to me
And close your eyes
Let me cure your pain
With a kiss on your eyelids
Sleep now, be at ease
Everyone's the same: their lost fears
Wrapping up sadness and confusion, too
I want to feel that strength
If everyone realized
The pointlessness of dispute, a glittering sun would rise
Until that time comes, I pray

I'm being faithful to nothing,
to a memory,
to the ghost of what we never had.
But letting someone else sleep under these sheets,
hold me like you did,
feels like betrayal.
So I rather go to bed alone,
       cover my body with your shirt,
                and if I try hard enough I can still smell you in it,
than let anyone else erase with their touch the prints of your hands.