Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

I feel gone--
Dead by some accounts.
Lonely and abandoned I fall
Exhausted from the pain.

Pangs of emptiness
Flow through my veins.
I am diseased with
Hopelessness.

Stricken,
There is now way out.
Abandoned,
There is no way to get there.

Shade the gray light from me,
Gather my pieces.
I am fragile,
Merely breakable.
I don't want to go.

I am gone.
Hypnotized in a drunken world.
They tell me I'm sleepy,
They whisper other things.
I know what they do,
I don't trust what they say.
I trust you.
Are you the same way?

A schizophrenic feeling
Ravages my soul.
Do you exist?
Are you real?
Your smile makes me question.
I'm not worth even that.

Say a word again.
My name.
Not the name They know me by, but
Anything to make me seem real.
Tell me the wishes of my heart.

I don't want to leave,
But I'm only gone.
Destroyed by
Heartlessness.

I ask why, you wave goodbye
I say hello, you say no
I wonder how weve come to this, you go on like theres nothing you'd ever miss
I cry myself to sleep at night, while your crushing my heart squeezing tight
I feel the ripping of my chest being opened, while you tug and pull on the ropes end
I am dead...ill...still you go on as if there never was or will

i thought
you were
my dream
but now
i realize
you were
my nightmare......
         -cutecrazy-

Is it my fault that I've locked my heart in a vault away from your hands? Or is it a crime that you've broken in and reached my heart? Your personality like molten gold filled in the crevices and hollowness that covered me. Are you a miracle? Are you a miracle? Are you what I've been praying for? Because the way you look at me makes me feel a thing or two and I would love to get to know you.

I can't stop thinking about the way you say my name.
You won't stop repeating her name.
I guess we're all playing the same game, aren't we?

You look like my next rebound,
Wanna kiss?
Maybe its the way your eyes twinkle,
Or the way your smile is like his.

Less words, more skin,
Have I told you of his laugh?
Drown myself in alcohol,
The mess he left, wasn't enough.

Sign my body with your teeth,
Try to wash away his smell,
I knew love was a trap,
On him let's not dwell.

Finger my brain,
Oh you've got his hair,
More alcohol, less pain,
And I whisper "I don't care."

Strip me bare,
My walls are down,
Touch me roughly,
Make me frown.

You look like my next rebound... Wanna kiss?