"Where do you want to be in five years?"

Happy,
safe,
full of food and mirth,
and not wishing
to die.

I should be
in Dreamland
by now,
engaging in fantastical adventures.
But I stay in the real world,
force my eyes open,
just so I can drift into the gray between
of not awake, not asleep.

Let
me
go


numb


here in this half-asleep
state.

Let me blur the lines,
fade out from the world.

Let me exist as a breath
in the air,
a single dewdrop on
a small blade of grass.

Let
me


dissolve.

Mistakes turn me into
a bumbling idiot who can
barely tie her own ******* shoes
alone.

They call it high for a reason -
I'm soaring above the grass,
such a vivid shade.
The clouds swirl above me,
and I breathe in the breeze.

live life in warm yellows
when the sky is a dark gray and the clouds are a loveless black
live life in light pinks
when the trees are dying browns and the flowers are wilting ebonys
live life in bright blues
when the waters are a wild taupe and the sand is a rough onyx
live life in the colors of life;
for life is exquisite
but to see such radiance and beauty,
one must be appreciative and live life in warm yellows
reds,
oranges,
greens,
blues,
indigos,
and violets.
life is full of color, but one must be able see that to truly enjoy living