Years of knowing I wasn’t wanted
Have poisoned the tenderest
Portions of my soul.

Butterflies have become moths
And the music is always out of tune.

The sunset is an ugly smear
And sunrise holds no promise.

Flowers do not yield perfume
And all the birds are Ravens.

Words that used to comfort me
Now echo back in hateful tones

I tell myself there is a light
And try hard to believe it.

But it’s illusive and it fades
Each time I think I see it.

Wanting to be wanted
Turns out to be a foolish game.

How can anybody want me
When I don’t even want myself.
ljm

The Doctors were wrong,
They gave her a year,
Four months.....
She is gone.....
As the holidays near,
But the chemo was hard,
She was no longer able,
How dreadful the empty spot at the table

I loved the wooded path,
I did respect their bones,
Fearlessly I tread,
Playing with my phone,
I saw no shapes or shadows,
Nothing spoke to me,
Careless, without faith,
I did not BELIEVE,
Just walking thru the graveyard,
I thought I was alone,
I should have looked behind me,
Something followed me home
©B L Costello  2020