tell me about
the stars and
galaxies  in
your blood
tell me about
your origami bones
your transparent heart
tell me about
your shadows
describe your shade
tell me about
passion in your veins
tell me the things
only walls and cold air know

Lay me down in syrupy Laugh's
Let me laugh myself to death
Let the shine be on my face
And the dirt beneath my
Fragile toes- upsprout
Through my mouth
Let me blossom like
Daisies in the sudden
Show---- lay me down
By the Riverside
Where a fire is
L-i-t and by and
By my hands will
Reach the morning
Sky's----glimpsing
Into the future,
Forgetting my
Past,no heart to
Be sold, my beats
Draw fast, no more
Emptiness of a vessel,
My veins are the pencils
That sketch the world
Around me.

We fight over strawberry milk
Ripping waxed white paper
And now I’m drowning in that pastel cream
Always drowning
The sickness covering me
Covering everything, sticking to the walls, the floor, the ceiling, my hands
anxiety living in my blood, staining the sink, bathroom tile, caught in the shower drain, hiding in the ditch.  The world is swimming in those ocean eyes, watering because the body knows its demise. The world is drowning in acrid breath
Perfection soaked stomach acid, throw up black paint to match your state of mind.
I thought it was going to be pretty
Like the shade of cherry blossoms
the shade of strawberry milk
Not bright red blood

Dear You

I wanted to write and tell you all the things I think you should know.
I wanted to tell you that.. you are amazing and I love your words.
Every comma, every consonant, every vowel, every **** syllable.
I feel your heart pour onto the page and it makes me hold my breath.
And pray.
Because .. even the angels need to know what you write, well, that's what they should be preaching.

And I know that times are hard for you, and I feel that too. I know just a little of how that feels. It's not quite the same but, I have anxiety and I worry a lot and I always think I am going to die and my heart races and the world is just too big and it's too loud and tries to eat me alive... and...  
I wish I was invisible.
Maybe that is nothing like the things you face. But you are not alone and I know you are brave. Braver than me... is braver a word? braver.. braver.. more brave, bravest?
Any way... the thing is ...  I will be here should you need me, you just call out my name and you know where ever I am, I'll come running... wait a minute... that's actually a song... I'm quoting some song lyrics to you.. yeah... this is why I don't actually go out much, and probably why I am single..
Okay, I know I am messing all of this up so, I just want to tell you, before I ruin everything.. you are wonderful. You are brave and courageous. You have a soul that I can feel through your words and I think it is beautiful. You are a waterfall of wondrous things. And I hope I can tell you that, I just want you to be my friend...
And if you say yes, that would make two.

Okay I hafta go
Just don't stop writing okay... never stop being wonderful.
Lots of Love
Me
**

You can hear me reading this here...
https://soundcloud.com/rachael-435397529

Probably quite dreadful but I tried :o)

I can feel the gravity around me
I can hear your blood moving in this echo of silence
The impossible smoothness of a voice, impossible to exist, silky like the whisper of a breeze
The world is huge but so small in this moment, time stands still and if we try, counting the exact number of stars in the inky blue sky would be feasible
We are of the dark, fire flies burn away the sounds of the city at 5:16AM
Electric blue eyes see your face in neon detail, slightly shaking hands trace their definition of perfection
What if the ozone shattered, but breathing isn’t for anyone who’s seen the universe thru rose colored contacts
Have you ever tasted air so sweet you could feel the glucose in your flesh?
Have you ever felt the forest only thru your feet?
Heard the sigh of May?
The sky changes color with our breath, glass eyes begin to close
We’re sleepy so flowers grow in our bones, waiting for this town to wake