Judged


My fate lies in another's hands,
In front of the judge, is where I stand,
Sweating profusely, under my suit,
Waiting to end, this two year pursuit,

Which has consumed me every day,
Nowhere to put, these troubles away,
Clinical depression, grew out of control,
****** my life away, into a black hole,

Clouded by darkness, no light shone,
Desire to do anything, had already gone,
Locked myself up, staring at these walls,
Every glimmer of hope, destined for a fall.

Fighting with my mind, trying overcome,
More obstacles appear, before I’d begun,
Drifting through each day, like I wasn't there
Distant from the world, drawn into a stare

*

I climbed myself out, of this black hole,
To walk tall again, my one and only goal,
My vocals returned, clouds leaving my brain,
Sunshine appearing, clearing the rain,

Like sunny intervals, I had moments of joy,
Localised pressure, fog falling from the sky,
Trying to penetrate, deep into the cracks,
To rebuild my life, and return to the track,

Awaiting the moment, I hear the result,
As I fight from all corners, excepting my faults,
Refusing to be drawn, on the what ifs and whys,
The truth will prevail, and settle their cries,

Fact and understanding, from this broken man’s part,
Will show you his compassion, and the pain in his heart,
Whether it is accepted, my offering upon this plate,
I am ready for judgment, regardless of fate.

I will return to my family,
Regardless of your plan,
No longer..My life in pieces,
No longer..A broken man.

Chapter 1
?

Most children my age, have a place called home, ?
Parents or siblings, they are never alone,
Have their own room, with clothes on their back, ?
Food on their plate, piled in a stack, ?

Well educated, a wealth of close friends, ?
But for me?. It is hard to pretend, ??
Eating scraps off the floor, no water or food,
A derelict home, no light in the fuse, ?

No brothers or sisters, not a friend in sight,
Forgotten by the world, I lay here tonight.
Dishevelled clothes, trainers hang of my feet,
Winter descends, snow following sleet, ?

Tiles missing, the wind sets a chill, ?
Huddled in the corner, I await her still. ??
She walks the street, hour after hour,
Collecting the funds, for an ****** flower,

I can sit here all night, yet she will fail to return, ?
I'm second to addiction, I have soon come to learn, ??
Pain in my stomach, freezing I stare, ?
The door creaking, but no one is there,

Sirens in the distance, I wish they'd find me,
Too weak to get up, too dark to see, ??
Twenty four hours, I lay here alone,
Shivering in cloth, through to the bone,

Tears fading, they serve no use, ?
They cannot save me, from years of abuse.
Commotion outside, unable to shout, ?
Too ill for fear, impending blackout, ?

Door kicked in, they rush in and see, ?
The fear grips the room, as they find me. ??
In the hospital, I awake alone, ?
No mother beside me, I should've known, ?

A woman attended, called me by name, ?
I knew that my life, would never be the same.