Ever met someone that made your body shiver?
That made you re-evaluate yourself alot quicker?
Tongue is slicker
than liquor that been marinating since 2 winters
and you cannot fathom what do with it either?

Ever met someone that got you guard down?
kept talking to you when you were so sure you were lost and now?
Shadows keep replaying the scenes that I'm ******* to
without ever taking my clothes off,  im biting my lips too

His mind is beautiful
even though he never thinks so, he's still confused that I am finding him so--
Atrractive, I do not wish to lose him
Manically, I'm laughing,
I can feel myself losing control to him.

It's funny.
I once believed I was heartless
not a beat in my chest to cause duress.
Not a disturbance, I laid my feelings to rest
so determined that they were the feels of a teen and yet
he's re wakened something in my soul
something in my heart and beyond my control

Even if, he does not believe that he the last thing I think about before dreaming,  in the bed .
im his now
Even if, he does not believe that I think he's worth being with
I am his now, please believe it with a fighting spirit.

These dreams keep coming back to me
and if dreams are secret wishes then
Im wishing that you'll find a back to me

Sometimes I play the role of a good girl
I smile charmingly, an angel to the world
please and thank you are the secret words
to distract the wary enemy,from the harmless fragile little girl
By the time you trust me and leave me with your valuables
I've taken them all, sold to the highest bidder
I vanish from sight, ghastly figment of the imagination
and yet yu are taken
im beautiful
im sweet.
im unique
i make ur heart. skip a beat
u love the way the wind plays in my hair
highlighted hair of red and black  dances in the air
u trust me
but i cant b trusted
because i lie and i steal
and i bribe and ****
but yet u trust me
and now im twisted with fickled feelings
should i theive and **** yu or jus leave yu be?
i have alrdy taken from yu almost everything that i need
and yet yu trust and love and is captured by beautiful me
the dates were lies!  
the ******* were lies
it was jus *** and character. its how i live my life
trust noone and i wont get burned
**** em b4 they hurt me i wont b scorned
i wont b forced to walk and lie on hot coals
i wont be forced to rub myself in a blanket of fire and tears
feelinq misery because its wat  my ex brought on me for years
i stole money from yu and u smiling.
i stole things from yu and ur still feelinq good
i guess why u feelinq good now though. its me
and i cant bear the thoughts of yu actually fallinq in love with me
wanting me with ur being
and ready to share ur world with me
its better for me to just poison with this sweet cup of tea
and yu thought i was so beautiful and sweet
the only unique thing i did was **** yu with tea
i literally made ur heart skip and then stop beating

Sitting here writing some of my most inner thoughts and feelings
with the padlock closeby, I am scrawling in red ink in that I visualize as blood
my inner thoughts and understandings of life
while the clock ticks away the meaningless minutes I have wasted into writing about my days

I have wrote about my happiness and wrote about my saddness
the things that makes me cry and wish I would die
and the motives of why I even stay alive
I told about the day I tried blasting my brains out, but couldn't pull the trigger to try

I've told about the man I murdered
He'd shared with me everything and I couldn't bare him finding out who or what I was
Now his blood screams from the ground, crying out to me
and I take up alcoholism as a job, a worthwhile profession to comfort me

I have told about the pregnant ******* prom night
who was stuck, wasting away wishing she could party that night
who was thinking about self aborting her child, motherhood she dared to fight
until she felt her son kick and she sobbed, tears that she tried to fight

I have told about my first love
my first kiss and how I felt higher and more pure than a dove
i told about my grandmother and how she taught me that "god is love"
switching to blue ink now, because blue is for peace

I signed my name at the bottom of each page
saying that I have become stronger with each turn of the page
I no longer feel that I have to shove the whole canister of anti-depressants down my ribcage

I wrote with red ink scrawled in blood
that was full of agony,anger, and regret
Finished in blue because I found a happy place,peace, and acceptance
I lock the padlock onto it, in order to protect my secrets
and I stop the clock by taking out the batteries to remind me that my life isn't ruled by human time
and I smile as I look into the fireplace, at my book of secrets, finally erased.

Perfected form of hurting someone in a graceful matter
performing butterfly kicks
and acrobatic spins and flips
call it martial Arts

A simplfied and universal way to write the language i speak
with nouns being a base for connecting the verbs
and adverbs and pronouns i read
call it language Arts

knowing the law and how to debate it as a citizen
so when i in trouble I can prove the officer
wrong or right before i get thrown into prison
call it liberal Arts

Drawing an interpretation of life, or an event or feeling into a picture that breathes life into a room,
adds beauty and awe to all who glance at it in 2 seconds
that causes an toddler to want to reach tiny hands at it, in order to grab
call it Art

manipulating words into a beautiful image
that can be interpreted into any meaning managed
that breathes life into the person as they imagine it into their mind
causes them to think about things they would've never thought of and evokes more than just feelings of awe
but awakens the personal space of their beings
let's call that Poetry

:)

Long ago there was a Princess
who never did really think about her Prince
she just hoped he was good-looking and kind, and loved her for who she is.
keep her out of trouble, and when they share true loves first kiss
it'll last forever, just like in Disney classics

True love was always in the first kiss shared
that is when the magic happens  and sparkles surrounds her in the air
Animals sing as the two of you dance away without a care
and then the screen goes black leaving you with the innuendo that the love will always be there

This princess didn't care when her prince would show up.
Just keep living with all the colors of the wind like Pocahontas, growing up
and I just can't wait to be queen, now where is her real life version of Timon and Pumbaa,
to help her run away from dangerous stuff?

She can't live like Cinderella, cleaning up after all others
and her foot is a common size, because the shoes she wears is sometimes her mother's.
She could cut her hair and go into the military, so that it can make a man out of her
and maybe her reflection would be of her being the fairest and bravest of them all

Instead she'd stand tall
fashioning an escape like Rapunzel
to find her
happily ever after, once and for all

She is sitting in a corner crying
huddled with her legs close to her chest
face covered from the nose to mouth
slowly dying

she stares at me with her eyes red and watering
never removing the mask she has made for herself
tears stream from her face, like rain pouring

I tried to tell her it'd be okay but she turned and hid  from me
I tried to tell her to be strong but she never stopped whimpering

I even told her about my bad times and how i overcame them
but it seems shes not listening
i tried to give her a hug but then i started disappearing

through the eyes of a child, everthing is lovely
the neighbor is kind, it rains fruit punch and candy is the balanced diet
running around all day laughing,playing
imagine being a superhero
with the mask and a cape
the clouds are actually cotton candy and mud-pies are chocolate cakes
all animals are nice and noone is unliked
so how about  we play around with dolphins
and kiss a tiger while stargazing
in the eyes of a child, the world seems amazing

My sky is red and pink
and my clouds purple
my sun is a scarlet
and my breezes are filled with sparkles
i guess you can say my world is magical

cause the waters are filled sirens and hippicampi
my lands filled with centaurs and brownies
and the air has pegases and griffins
my world is dangerous but beautiful to live in

crystal waters that beckon u to dive in
Glowy forests that hugs you tightly in
and silvery winds with sparkles that taste sweet
my world beckons you in,accept it as a treat

Like a Moth to a flame
I'm drawn to the same
even though I know it burns
it dances for me and asks me to join in
I love how it flickers
I love how it beckons
I even try to touch it
as it reaches its arms above it's head to the heavens
then holds it to me
silently beckoning
asking
telling
and I take the hand into mine
trying to forget about the burning
or the smell of my flesh barbecuing
my body is yearning
my spirit slowly burning
and yet I pay it no mind as I dive right in
dancing around with more of it at my feet
and it no longer burns me
As I dance, I don't notice myself turning
I am wild, or is it wild becoming me
I am playful and carefree, or does carefree become me
what is to become of me
but as the dance dies,no longer wanting to dance with me
it leaves me with blazed wings of an angel
and the small horns of a demon
what has become of me

To think about you, i wont
mouth your name in my sleep, i won't
wake up wishing you were here, i won't
forget you, i will


Dreams are a ***** though,
memories too.
Love songs are beautiful,
Tulips too.

However Tulips wither and die the moment they bloom
my tulip only grows,even after the bloom
in any and every weather fault
and in any disaster, it never falls

Summer
Spring
Winter,
and then back to fall

to think about you, I did
mouthed your name over and over in my sleep,I do
wake up wishing you were here,every night
forget you, I tried.

He'd drag to hell
these daydreams do tell
a slow song, a love song
that i know too well.

He'd be my Romeo, and I Juliet
if I let him be the one to drive me insane and yet
My bed is his favorite
clubhouse
My legs is his favorite
clubgrounds
and My lips is --- his now
as i don't dare to ever care to think about
-another man.
I'd rather have no man.
My dreams are clouded with this man
let me pretend
I dont care,
he'd grab me, pull me close, whisper in my ear
he'd dare me to say "i don't care" again
he'd press his lips to mine.
conquering his sweet valentine
nonetheless, just invading my lips and thoughts with his tongue as he intertwines

I love resting my head on your shoulder as you tell me how everything is supposed to be
Live life to the fullest and never be afraid of anything.

She comes home from a long day work
gets in the shower and lays down for bed
twisting and turning in her sleep
she awakens with a jolt
sweat pouring, she has messed up her sheets
they feel cool to her as she lays down within them
clinging onto her dampened skin
sensitive to the touch and she wonders why
as she touches herself,she sees the silouette of a guy
she should panic
she should cover up and scream
but her body wont let her
it nags at her to be wild and free
he eyes her from where he stands
and she beckons him near
he touches her,he feels so angelic, and whispers into ear
she moans and shakes, feeling so devilish,she licks her lips

eyes lowered
constant touching
feeling on his bulge
and teasing
hours later
in the bed and hanging towards the floor,heaving
his loving would have her falling to her knees
it was his loving alone,the reason why she couldnt breathe

Forgetting you had not been an easy task,yet i tried desperately to forget

          Warmth of you fingertips, and of your body and breath i felt warmth

         Nothing like the chilling cold that has ***** my bedroom, so i try to think of nothing

I want you beside me but the thought brings a tear to my eye

Alas i threw out all memories of you, i am free from you alas

Calling for you still is my heart, you have it your grasp,calling.

Never Say goodbye
goodbye is only the beginning
whispering sweet songs calld melodies
whispering and clearing away bad memories

Eyes are the opening to the soul
I can remember her singing sweetly, it calms me
Like the ocean sound of waves crashing along a beach
or like the soft solo from violins in a symphony

Never say goodbye
cause its only the beginning
i repeat it jus to make sure yu are listening
do yu get it ? know the feeling?

Calms the spirit.
call it spiritual cleansing

either way i wont say goodbye to her
cause shes alive in spirit
alive in heart
awakening to the senses

So instead of byes and goodbyes in a funeral
imma say hi, see you on the other side

people gathered round,
when gunshots fire in the air
it is new year's day

You are just groupies to me
smile as you bow to my feet
take pleasure in pleasing me
take delight in me
get used to being under me
everytime you see me
bow
i am your leader
get used to being subordinates
that will never meet my rank
no matter how hard you try
you will fail.
I am this position for a reason
bow
I am not self proclaimed
I am not by any standards going to claim myself divine
the name was given, title,and position and power
that I do not know what do to with
so to you, because you hate me, scorn me, and wish me badlucks
get on your knees as you drag you heavy chains on the ground before yourself
and I expect you to not speak unless spoken to
and when you do,address me as Queen.

Wake me up from this dream
telling me that all it has been was some crazy dream
with loads of b.s that has never even happened
so that when I get up, I can correct the mistakes I made in my nightmare.

Happy Birthday
I sing with noone in front of me
noone beside me and
noone behind me

A stupid cake with silly candles that represent 20
and happy birthday with no name scribbled in blue icing
sit on the table before me, along with my favorite ice cream
Your favorite ice cream.

I remember because we used to play 21 questions
asking each other nothing of importance
assuming we'd be friends forever
as if somehow our friendship would be preserved forever and ever

I smile as I remember each fond moment with you
as I blow out each candle one by one, in remembering you
the stupid things we said and would do
and the stupid way life tore me apart from you

As I get to the last candle I can only imagine where life would take you
and I hope it takes you farther than what I dreamed you would do
I am happy for you, dont you see?
so please ignore the tissues in the floor beneath me

I do not know why I decided to be such a girl this time
when I do this sortof thing every year to remind me of a time
where me and you could've been an item
but now we are lost and out of time.

"Coming to the stage forever and ever"
"Give her a round of applause folks"
"it's her!"

Am I a show?
Am I forever to be in your lime light?
I don't like it
and I am hiding but it must be in plain sight

there's nowhere to run
nowhere to hide
yet, i fight
you fight
we fight
and I am dying inside

show after show
throw me the roses
a strange bow a
awkward curtsy
roses scratch me with each throw

I cry and I scream
but you just scream with me
I threaten you
and you laugh
now the audience laughs at me.
i made a funny?

Finally I run and try to dive off the stage
only to hit a glass case
now I discover the reason they laugh
I am the show, but im sure they all are a nutcase

The mind and soul will not permit me to be anything less
Of being nice,nor will will it let me become a pessimist
Optimistic as they come and  smiling when others have done me wrong, holding out hand

Now take it, grab on. because I cannot bare the thought of someone not holding on
Initially, people will only offer twice and then walk away. but I am stubborn
Caring too much will be my downfall
Eventually, this will be my grave's call

the games we play
the things we say
has me drifting off to sleep
only to replay
torture me
tie me up
bound me
by the memories i once found sweet
they taunt me
haunt me
cage me
and lock me away
i lock my heart away
and become just as bloodthirsty they say
alas sleep is just a hollowed symphony to me
welcome to being vampire,my sweet

Say what you want
Do you what you feel
temptation is the motivation
and the motive is tempting

It starts with the thought
and you think it's harmless
that it just goes  away
never to come back, but you're wrong.

It lingers,
skips around in circles inside your head
it toys with you, taunting you
to act upon it, it dares you.

Resist, you try
Fight, you may
Tame it, you can attempt it
but failure is imminent

It's the sweetest lullabye
the catchiest hook
the sexiest opposite ***
the most tempting fruit

It's automatic to want something forbidden
However, do i indulge it ?
Do I dive in?
yes, no, maybe. possibilities swirl around. the cycle is thoughtless. unforgiving.

It's the question that makes us think
the temptation that drives us to the brink
the possibilities that make us walk to the edge
and the conclusion that either makes us turn away or dive in.

I am nervous
wading into the still,calm waters that are too calm
on this starry night,
moving gently in the breeze beckoning me near
these waters will betray me with its treachery
telling me its safe, as it sways gently
being the home to lots of things that could **** me

I am nervous
but I am hip deep with the waters
and they are still calm, daring me to come closer
keep wading, keep going, your almost near
and then I hear it
the song that kills thousands before me
telling me it's ok, just let go and come to me

Before I realize it
I am neck deep in,and can no longer feel the bottom of the shore
yet I cannot resist the urge and she sings another ballad
telling me to swim closer and be calm
I obey.
swimming towards the crimson horizon
that is in the process of transforming to dawn
then I see her,on a jagged rock, the beautiful woman who calls out to me
singing me to my death, towards her
and when she giggles her giggle is melodic in my ears
making me happy that I had followed
She then jumps off the rock, and I know she is swimming to claim me
As she pulls me down and swims with me to the deepest depths
I also now know, there is no saving me